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ashley1407

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ashley1407

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashley1407's page activity

Visits<b>Mike_steiggs</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 2:18pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:01pm<b>marinecorps12</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 2:36pm

ashley1407's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of ashley1407's badges

ashley1407's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (8585)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (14564)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (11633)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49356) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (22717)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41184) - you deserved it (8381) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58324) - you deserved it (5850)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47450) - you deserved it (9361)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (3482)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50514) - you deserved it (4063)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (3416)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (3011)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49284) - you deserved it (5363)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68234) - you deserved it (3723)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States



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