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aprilk1994's favorite FMLs
by anon / 07/27/2015 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by ephram17 / 06/01/2015 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
by ForeverAlone / 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love
by KO / 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML
by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML
by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML
by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
- Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already… Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find… Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when…
- Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…