aprilk1994

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Offline (the 02/16/2016 at 7:35am)

aprilk1994

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 412
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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aprilk1994's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:23pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:32pm

aprilk1994's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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aprilk1994's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

by anon / 07/27/2015 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

by ForeverAlone / 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

by KO / 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love