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adri460's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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adri460's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML
by tayymeds / 03/12/2014 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 1:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML
by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML
by clrichmond2009 / 02/19/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
by I must suck at singing / 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work