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acisking

Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

acisking

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acisking : I am a freshmen!!:D woohoo!!!!

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acisking's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9669)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12668) - you deserved it (29625)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (34125)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (34125)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (55649)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21437) - you deserved it (2304)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (28047)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (2826)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (1805)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (4624)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10253) - you deserved it (22420)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML

#17283905
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (5119)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Shelbitchh - United States

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (28216)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)



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