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Zakman11's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML
by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
by maybe if i was paid like them i would / 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Zach / 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
by Sexy Rash / 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by idiot says pussy / 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by arsenalfcboy / 01/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by fuckmuppeter512 / 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote… Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to… Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally,…