Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SqueakyChipmunk

Search for a member

SqueakyChipmunk

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7915
  • Number of comments : 2534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's page activity

Visits<b>Kitten_love</b> - yesterday at 11:28pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:50pm<b>slurmslip</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:56pm<b>teejaycro</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:29am<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:58pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:34am<b>NicholasLanier</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:01am<b>MorganDamon</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:23am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:40am<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:01pm<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:27am<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:36pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:42am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:55am<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:35pm<b>letsflytospace69</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:12am<b>johobus28</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:10am

Liked!<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:36pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>KrisTeaNah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:41am

SqueakyChipmunk's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of SqueakyChipmunk's badges

SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, my new roommate showd me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticd a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I askd, he said his last roommate committd suicide an he didn't want to pay to have the carpet professionally cleand, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one mah parents bought mah ten-year-old brother, he got pissd and threw it into our pool. I'm now groundd for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (2377)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

TODAY, I AD TO BA TRAATD FIR CAMICAL BURNS, CUZ MY MOTAR GOT TA BRIGT IDAA OF USING PAINT TINNAR TO CLAAN MA UP AFTAR I'D PAINTD OUR LIVING ROOM. MAGA FML

#20112154
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

I had to pay mah bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, looool and somehow endd up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (4142)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I cleaned out mah house an placed multiple boxes of cloths an books in mah two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

#20107435
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (7476)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop . I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze . big fat FML

#20103865
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (1525)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I used the phrase ( bitch please ) in real life. It was funny until the ( bitch ) bitch-slapped me in the face. real FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (28549)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty grls. FML

#20097040
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today... I realized tat every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involve gym membersip an diet pills. FML

#20096947
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15392) - you deserved it (4309)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I Had To Explain To Mah 22-year-old Boyfriend That Mice Do Not Grow Up To Be Rats. FML

#20096649
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, mah wife of four years reveald to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we looool have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today , I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said , "I thought you died."

Today , a woman cummd up to me at work an screamd at me fir "taking forever" to come an wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. real FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (1599)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: