About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
About SqueakyChipmunk :
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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
by iblamethetories / 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by monkers / 10/06/2012 at 3:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by staticman101 / 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Lisa / 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (New York) / Love
by liveviathetredmill / 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by supapimpin / 09/25/2012 at 11:09am / United States / Intimacy
by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…