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SlashingAverV2's favorite FMLs
by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML
by thebrokentardis / 09/22/2014 at 2:45am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by nocat6 / 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML
by AnnoyedWoman / 08/17/2014 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML
by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by blanknameisblank / 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
by 5p4571k / 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML
by thankssiren / 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML
by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous