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Shadowflames420

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Shadowflames420
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 72278
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Shadowflames420's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29366) - you deserved it (6887)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8881) - you deserved it (32759)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124026) - you deserved it (13809)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

#641288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (10876)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49388) - you deserved it (598134)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (66087)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (132815)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (419809)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6509) - you deserved it (26826)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)



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