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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 11:26am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1158
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Ryan_Jaxson : Ah well I'm just an average guy, what else can I say?
I do play the guitar. ;)

Ryan_Jaxson's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:29am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:34pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:00pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:48pm<b>ItzMarsh</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:35pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:59pm<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:43am<b>AsyEvans</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:03am<b>Monslover</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:04pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 9:37am<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:12am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 4:50pm<b>unicornhanna</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:05am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 4:03am<b>letrollface</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:44pm

Ryan_Jaxson's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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Ryan_Jaxson's favorite FMLs

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

by KennyDidIt / 12/09/2012 at 8:18am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

by faen / 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

by crabmunch15 / 09/09/2012 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 11:48am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

by foretwintie / 06/06/2009 at 7:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

by fmeplease / 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy