PenguinBitch

Search for a member

PenguinBitch

94Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20708
  • Number of comments : 1129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 7:31am<b>JacobIsANoob</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 5:46pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 7:47pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:40pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ecot95</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 5:42am<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 12:00pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:06am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Jaraxxus</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:32pm<b>pandor</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 8:34pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:58pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:39pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:45pm<b>peeta0330</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 9:28am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:30am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:57am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 8:41pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

by idiotfucks / 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Health

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2014 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Angus) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

by all by myself / 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

by Max / 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

by cumbucket cops / 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work