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Peachy2392's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Peachy2392's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML
by ohshit / 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Ashlee / 02/15/2010 at 10:21am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
by dire-rear / 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm / Singapore / Health
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
by Romantic / 01/15/2010 at 3:33am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
by weeble_wobbles09 / 01/08/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MouseChaser / 11/26/2009 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
by luvizwar / 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
by m / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Love
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
by GasAttack / 09/07/2009 at 9:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…