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Not_Impressed13's favorite FMLs
by juice723 / 02/01/2014 at 9:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by whereismyprince? / 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
by and she blames me -_- / 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by alexbrooke / 09/26/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by SoreNips / 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
by LadySteveMartin / 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…