Not_Impressed13

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Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 3:27am)

Not_Impressed13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1301
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Not_Impressed13's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 6:59am<b>ashantaenelson</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:49pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 11:29pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:16am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Accurate_Vision</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Szaszaspasz</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 7:17pm<b>lishabear</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:41pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:11am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:18pm<b>LHOTP</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:05am<b>daken96</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:28am<b>Socks91</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:12am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:01pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:53am<b>limitedition</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:02pm

Fucked!<b>daken96</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:28pm

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Not_Impressed13's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

by juice723 / 02/01/2014 at 9:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

by whereismyprince? / 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

by and she blames me -_- / 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

by alexbrooke / 09/26/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

by SoreNips / 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

by LadySteveMartin / 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy