About MandyCat484 : The FML attempts aren't real FML's.. They're little inspirational things you'll see from time to time in the moderation section.
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MandyCat484's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Money
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
by Burning Love / 03/15/2014 at 3:35am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML
by DarthVerona / 03/14/2014 at 4:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/13/2014 at 5:34am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work
by Seriously? / 03/09/2014 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by chuchundra / 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm / United States / Animals
Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML
by GLHan / 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Work
by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at… Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his… Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over…