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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 1:02am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6629
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:01am<b>bellawood</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:46pm<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:32am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:13am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:27pm<b>vb68</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:58pm<b>joebob212</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:52am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:37am<b>LolaxLolz</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:44am<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:32pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:11am<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:21am<b>cjl1028</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:58am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:07am<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:04pm

Fucked!<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:38am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:54pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:54am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:43am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexxGhost</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:56pm

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (3794)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (2939)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (3500)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (2851)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (5638)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (86500) - you deserved it (26719)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52531) - you deserved it (11014)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (2861)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (6476)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (5687)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (2714)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (1810)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (2917)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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