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Kania

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Kania
  • Town/Country : kelowna, canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Kania's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61557) - you deserved it (13914)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25145) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5400) - you deserved it (22270)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (10373)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66636) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (21329)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9561) - you deserved it (70895)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (55077)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (4757)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)



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