JessicaRenee95

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JessicaRenee95

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1405
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JessicaRenee95 : Hello stalkers. I'm Jess. 18 years young. I'm a big fan of The Lord of the rings and Star Wars. I love alice in wonderland and the wizard of oz, and I love to draw. I listen to all types of music but rock is the best! If you want to message me and talk then feel free. If you have any questions ask and i will answer

JessicaRenee95's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:47am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:22am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:31pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:39am<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:37pm<b>barneystinson45</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:21am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:24pm<b>ml_augustus</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:38pm<b>blcusername</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:12pm<b>tostada1011</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:01pm<b>xkore787</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:25pm<b>josephramayrat</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:59am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:30pm<b>cricket266</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 10:42am<b>keymustang</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:33pm<b>cyrusdunz</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:30pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:47am

JessicaRenee95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of JessicaRenee95's badges

JessicaRenee95's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids