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Jessica00

Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 12:53pm) | Search for a member

Jessica00

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1474
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>AliGInTheHouse</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:08pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:56pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:01pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:52pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:53am<b>Brieza91</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am

Fucked!<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>davered89</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:45pm

Jessica00's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

#21482098
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/20/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

#21481486
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (7487)

On 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm - work - by RIPcareer - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

#21473971
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (6671)

On 09/28/2015 at 10:32pm - animals - by Js2cool - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

#21473282
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/27/2015 at 12:05pm - intimacy - by itsbeenalongday - United States (California)

Today, after my sister's wedding, a bunch of people were dancing. I noticed my grandma sitting alone and looking sad. My grandpa died last month, so feeling bad for her, I asked if she'd like to dance with me. She seemed a lot happier, until I accidentally caused her to fall and break her arm. FML

#21472873
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (3116)

On 09/26/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by JT (man) - Luxembourg

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

#21472798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9991) - you deserved it (31146)

On 09/26/2015 at 1:06am - misc - by halfie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML

#21472720
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by My Daughter Fails at Life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

#21472551
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:46am - love - by helpme (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

#21471971
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (1627)

On 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm - misc - by KindaLooksLikeCocaine (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

#21471789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (1567)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:24am - misc - by Colin Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

#21470063
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm - intimacy - by Lady Vulva of the Redwater (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML



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