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Jessica00

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Jessica00

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 907
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:01pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:52pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:38am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:53am<b>Brieza91</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:40am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:34pm

Fucked!<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>davered89</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:45pm

Jessica00's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (2951)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (2154)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31842) - you deserved it (15)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (13093)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (5012)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (2660)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (2727)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (4351)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (9048)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44814) - you deserved it (16617)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)



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