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Jessica00

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Jessica00

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 982
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:56pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:01pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:52pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:38am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:53am<b>Brieza91</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am

Fucked!<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>davered89</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:45pm

Jessica00's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (2366)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (2498)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (4628)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (2493)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (3339)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (2162)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (23)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (2330)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (13148)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (5014)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML



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