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Jessica00

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Jessica00

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1173
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jessica00 : I'm not really sure what to write here.

Jessica00's page activity

Visits<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:56pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:11pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:01pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:52pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:53am<b>Brieza91</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>z3r0d4z3</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:40am

Fucked!<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>davered89</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:45pm

Jessica00's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Jessica00's badges

Jessica00's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15929) - you deserved it (1266)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

#21460185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (1730)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:56pm - love - by wellthen - United States

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (29255)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (6112)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (8946)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (3191)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

#21454264
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (8603)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by monster1109 (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

#21453297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (10119)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by godzilllla - United States (Washington)

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

#21451505
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (1927)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (9817)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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