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Helped's favorite FMLs
Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML
by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML
by 00sasori / 03/27/2013 at 1:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health
Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML
by arsenicalhumor / 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Money
Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by whykarma / 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
by Megan / 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm / United States / Love
Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML
by anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
by SwinginSolo / 03/26/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy
by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
- Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my… Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she… Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML