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ForRealLeo

Offline (the 12/23/2014 at 11:26pm) | Search for a member

ForRealLeo

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  • Number of visits : 779
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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ForRealLeo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (6117)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (21276)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (22588)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (14511)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46118) - you deserved it (26270)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34076) - you deserved it (53299)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (4185)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (44145)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (6574)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

#21053684
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (3829)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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