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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (7066)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (37024)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (3850)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

#18437830
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (2020)

On 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm - money - by Poor Student - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

#18434138
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (34040)

On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (62105)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (15517)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (9585)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

#18425208
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (22290)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (4798)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

#18424898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (5366)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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