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D33War12's favorite FMLs
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML
by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work
by BrokeandDesperate / 12/06/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
by santashelper / 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm / United States / Kids
by Poor Student / 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
by LucklessNiceGuy / 12/05/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Sal / 12/05/2011 at 1:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jess / 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I realized that the highlight of my summer will probably be obtaining all of the badges on… Today, I read an obvious fake FML in moderation about a kid talking to a ghost. Commenters not only… Today, my boyfriend and I took our dog on a generous walk. When we got back he said he had lost his…