Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

D33War12

Search for a member

D33War12

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (54 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3775
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

D33War12's page activity

Visits<b>nela25</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>IpromiseImnotemo</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:30am<b>kittymeew</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>estefa20</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:41am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>catsaregreatmeow</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>LoveLiv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22am<b>GoGoRatchet</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:21am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:17pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:38am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:43am

D33War12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of D33War12's badges

D33War12's favorite FMLs

TODAY ILE AT TE LAUNDRY MAT AN OLD MAN KEPT PUTTING EXTRA QUARTERS IN MA DRYER. I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL AILE LATERAT E'D DONE JUST SO E COULD KEEP WATCING ME BEND OVER TO SEE OW MUC TIME WAS LEFT. FML

#18444648
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (4610)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today I discovarad that tha word 'randy' maans 'horny' in England. I'm going to England naxt samastar to study abroad. My nama is Randy. FML

#18444089
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45421) - you deserved it (4915)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word 4 him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (1742)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today , a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange fir free gas , an I said yes!! This is wat mah unemployment has come to!! FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (7519)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband an I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment nieghbor yelled through the wall, "Do wat you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (40172)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I TOOK MAH KIDS TO THE MALL TO SEE SANTA . WHILE WAITING IN LINE, MAH ELDEST GOT BORD AND LOUDLY COMPLAIND, "I DON'T KNOWHY WE'RE HERE . SANTA'S NOT EVEN REAL." I DON'T THINK ANY OF THE KIDS WITHIN A HUNDRD FEET TOOK THE NEWS VERY WELL . FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (4084)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my looool mother "borrowd" money from my stash to help pay fir her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowd to go on. FML

#18437830
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (2302)

On 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm - money - by Poor Student - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , I was fred from mah job on account of ( sexual harassment ) toward female employees . The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massage when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift , an complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down . mega FML

#18434138
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (37532)

On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I ave to give ma fater-in-law back te football tickets e gave me 4 ma brtday . Wy? His grlfriend decided se wanted to go . He didn't get me a different gift . FML

#18434015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today as I was running from te cops I jumped biend a bus to ide. Turns out it was a massive torn bus. I later ad te most painful sower I ave ever experienced. FML

#18431842
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8357) - you deserved it (67949)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Taday I almost got a blowjob 4 the first time !! Except I cummd before I even got in her mouth !! mega FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42992) - you deserved it (17306)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replid, "Children don't have sex like this," and startd making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (10268)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, tha girl looool I'va had a crush on for yaars askd if I could ba har "amargancy gay friand". Worst part? I said yas.

#18425208
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (24057)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today , I was having a rough day and dacidad to go out for a walk at 1 a.m . to claar mah haad . I andad up baing drivan homa by two cops , who thought I was prostituting mysalf at tha truck stop . Whan wa arrivad , thay had a nica convarsation with mah parants . maga FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (4995)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, boyfriend was disgustd cuz I droppd a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

#18424898
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (5807)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: