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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (56 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5341
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's page activity

Visits<b>nela25</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>IpromiseImnotemo</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:30am<b>kittymeew</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>estefa20</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:41am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>catsaregreatmeow</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>LoveLiv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22am<b>GoGoRatchet</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:21am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:17pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:38am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:43am

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

by BrokeandDesperate / 12/06/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

by santashelper / 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm / United States / Kids

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

by Poor Student / 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

by LucklessNiceGuy / 12/05/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

by Sal / 12/05/2011 at 1:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

by Jess / 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy