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D33War12

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D33War12
  • Town/Country : Dallas, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (53 years)
  • Number of visits : 1298
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61069) - you deserved it (2606)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67348) - you deserved it (23878)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140690) - you deserved it (10863)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81316) - you deserved it (6113)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64787) - you deserved it (12970)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45787) - you deserved it (2870)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15324) - you deserved it (60362)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23405) - you deserved it (85313)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44985) - you deserved it (5413)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (4987)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (27581)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (1537)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (102741)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -



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