Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

D33War12

Search for a member

D33War12

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 September 1960 (54 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4337
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

D33War12's page activity

Visits<b>nela25</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>IpromiseImnotemo</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:30am<b>kittymeew</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:28pm<b>estefa20</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:41am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>catsaregreatmeow</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>LoveLiv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22am<b>GoGoRatchet</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:42am<b>Gaajan44</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 3:21am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:17pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 12:38am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:43am

D33War12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of D33War12's badges

D33War12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69762) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72580) - you deserved it (25841)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156571) - you deserved it (12601)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93827) - you deserved it (7446)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74985) - you deserved it (17468)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50105) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16639) - you deserved it (63473)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (88013)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (5573)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (5412)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (30107)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22833) - you deserved it (1986)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33861) - you deserved it (3099)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (113700)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: