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CueTheMusic's favorite FMLs
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids
Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML
by stillembarrassed / 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Health
by notsobig / 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
by fucking teen cunts / 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by anonymous001 / 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2013 at 12:20am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on… Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding… Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity,…