About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.
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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm / Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan) / Health
by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by screwed / 08/08/2014 at 8:26am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
by failallday / 08/07/2014 at 5:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by spitstopper / 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by whymyroomthough / 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by cutthroatkait / 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm / United States / Work
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…