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AmyPond17's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
AmyPond17's favorite FMLs
by whaleninjapoop / 12/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
by Nick / 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML
by pdin222 / 11/29/2012 at 9:45am / United States / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
by davifilo / 10/26/2012 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
by best_mom_ever / 10/19/2012 at 3:59am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML
by Joey / 10/06/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
by unhappy wifey / 09/28/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML
by sucker / 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper.… Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen,… Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he…