Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 9:30pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2919
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About AlyssaDiannaa : Hi I'm Alyssa,I love walruses and taking pictures! I love to laugh,smile and make new friends! I do plenty of sports,competitive swimming,soccer,snowboarding,surfing and longboarding.
I work as a sales associate at Pacsun and Journeyz.
I have a newborn son who is my absolute world! 👶🏻🍼💙

AlyssaDiannaa's page activity

Visits<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:25am<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:40am<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:04pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:22pm<b>AnmolArora</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Megawang</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:43pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:58pm<b>abattior</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 6:32am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:58pm<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:19pm<b>black_day</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 7:11am<b>lishabear</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:40am<b>olillia</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:27am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:54pm<b>MrSmellyCheese</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:15pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:07pm

Fucked!<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - yesterday at 12:25pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:53am<b>amitsagar1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:23pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:58am<b>CollinFuchs</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bps315</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:02pm<b>cmarksjr</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:21pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:25pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:49am<b>Cads1</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:17pm<b>BlondeSlasher</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:33am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:53am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:39pm

AlyssaDiannaa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of AlyssaDiannaa's badges

AlyssaDiannaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34795) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (37785) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (3937)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47367) - you deserved it (10213)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47409) - you deserved it (6167)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45426) - you deserved it (9133)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (9546)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (5231)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54409) - you deserved it (9324)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46566) - you deserved it (9901)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: