Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AlyssaDiannaa

Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 11:31pm) | Search for a member

AlyssaDiannaa

61Fucked!

AlyssaDiannaaAlyssaDiannaa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3142
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About AlyssaDiannaa : Hi I'm Alyssa,I love walruses and taking pictures! I love to laugh,smile and make new friends! I do plenty of sports,competitive swimming,soccer,snowboarding,surfing and longboarding.
I work as a sales associate at Pacsun and Journeyz.
I have a newborn son who is my absolute world! 👶🏻🍼💙
😎✌️

AlyssaDiannaa's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:17pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:12pm<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:03pm<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:23pm<b>hassi158</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:33pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 6:23am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:45am<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:37am<b>Lucrece</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:25am<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:40am<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:04pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:22pm<b>AnmolArora</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Megawang</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:43pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:58pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:12pm<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:23pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:53am<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:46am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:53am<b>amitsagar1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:23pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:58am<b>CollinFuchs</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bps315</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:02pm<b>cmarksjr</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:21pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:25pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:49am<b>Cads1</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:17pm<b>BlondeSlasher</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 7:15pm

AlyssaDiannaa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of AlyssaDiannaa's badges

AlyssaDiannaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38965) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (4803)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40447) - you deserved it (6272)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

#21312494
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (2790)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:10am - work - by graciegold95 - United States (California)

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (15690)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (6328)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30769) - you deserved it (5438)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51430) - you deserved it (14658)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (3012)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (7504)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (3573)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: