Abominations

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Abominations

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 963
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Abominations's page activity

Visits<b>Dexter_39476</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:58pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:55pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:56pm<b>little92</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 12:04am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:31pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:03pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 6:32pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:50am<b>Joshido</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:05am<b>trevieh690</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Girl_Got_Sweg</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:21pm<b>downzi104</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 12:18pm<b>Marmajam</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:05am<b>redmaster500</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 1:06pm<b>sallyallymoo</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 9:54am<b>qpworiruty</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 4:42pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 12:47pm<b>munlight</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 4:18am

Abominations's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Abominations's badges

Abominations's favorite FMLs

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

by itsellie27 / 08/30/2013 at 10:44am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

by DefinitelyNotDogshit / 08/28/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

by confused_girl / 08/01/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

by MarkQ95 / 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money