Nearly FMLs

By sammysucks - 16/04/2016 01:30 - United States - Redding

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him. He read me back a text off my phone "Hey sweetheart I love and miss you". He didn't believe me that my dad got a new phone today so my boyfriend called the #. He then had a very awkward talk with my dad. My dad then texted me "What a Looney."

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 01:22 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, I finally spoke up during class. My teacher has a habit of calling on students at random, so I made sure I knew the topic. Turns out my answer, which was definitely right, was wrong to him. Guess who won't be speaking up for the rest of the semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Brandorkian - 16/04/2016 01:18

Today, I finished a project I've been working on for nearly a year. I was so happy I started to dance knocking into my computer desk causing my monitor to fall off and smash my computer. My external harddrive was also broken in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By GhostFox - 16/04/2016 01:16 - United States - Lake City

Today, while eating my jaw snapped shut on my finger. I had to physically pry my own jaw open around the finger I nearly bit off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By clumsypencil - 16/04/2016 00:44 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was taking a test in class. Being a very clumsy person, I kept dropping my pencil multiple times. My teacher thought I was using some type of dude to cheat, so I got a 0% on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By doglover - 16/04/2016 00:24 - United States - Sterling

Today my dog came and gave me kisses on the mouth. I noticed she had chocolate on her mouth. I smelled the "chocolate" and realized it was from the poopie diaper I had just thrown in the bathroom trash! FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Tantien - 15/04/2016 23:14 - Australia - Bulimba

Today, I went out for dinner and was sitting and felt something move in my shoe. I ignored it then felt something again so I took off my shoe and a bloody cockroach came out and walked along the restaurant's floor. I guess it's found a new home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By coolnopedude - 15/04/2016 23:08 - United States - Tucker

Today, my boyfriend tried to sell my cat so he could buy concert tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By DabForMe - 15/04/2016 23:07 - United States - Matawan

Today, after a long day of work, I am exhausted and am looking forward to see my wife. When I walk in, I find her on the couch with another man. And a girl. She was having sex with my cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By fyoubrother - 15/04/2016 22:59 - United States - Tucker

Today, I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me. Guess who I found her in bed with? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anon - 15/04/2016 22:56 - United States - Arverne

Today, I decided to take a dump in the public bathroom. When I go to wipe, there is no paper. 20 sec later someone walks in, I ask for some paper and the person runs out yelling for security. I was in the woman's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:42 - United States

Today, I was pulled over while driving and chewed out for the My Little Pony sticker on the back of my car. They accused me of being a "brony" and a pedophile. It was actually my five year old daughter's doing, and when I told them this, they wouldn't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:29 - United States - Fremont

Today, my daughter called 911 because I beat her. At Monopoly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By DsWolfie - 15/04/2016 22:21 - United States

Today, I got evicted from my mother's house despite never failing to pay rent every week. The reasoning? She left the house for an hour and came back to find her room door broken down. I fell asleep literally three hours before she accused/evicted me. She usually leaves the front door unlocked. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:07 - United States - Massapequa

Today, I was taking my road test and I farted. The problem? It smelled so bad, the teacher told me to pull over because he thought there was a gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By standing247 - 15/04/2016 22:02 - United States - Slidell

Today, I mistakenly found out that my manager is secretly trying to get me transferred to another store. Despite me working long hours, doing what's asked of me, and trying my very best. And to add to the fact all the other managers know but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Sarcasmo - 15/04/2016 21:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was doing my final tests on a big spreadsheet I've spent about 4 days updating for my boss. I noticed something weird so I called her over. Turns out one of her important original formulas was wrong, and she knew about it but forgot to fix it. Now I have to do everything over again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By frustratedgf - 15/04/2016 21:37 - United States - Chatsworth

Today, after a year of living together, I had to beg my boyfriend to help with the dishes. Apparently his idea of doing dishes is moving the dirty plates from the counter into the sink and leaving them rotting there for a week. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By emlizcat - 15/04/2016 21:33 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out that my husband is cheating on me, with our marriage counselor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By whatisthis - 15/04/2016 21:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my computer (without any warning whatsoever) went into a 4-day update that I declined last month. Guess who won't be able to do homework for the next 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By bethanyelise - 15/04/2016 21:12 - United Kingdom - Hereford

Today, due to a personality disorder which, amongst other things, makes my emotions more powerful than an average persons; I very nearly broke down in tears when denied a pink plush pig toy and had to vacate a store before I made a scene. I'm 20 years old and had my boyfriend in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 15/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Salem

Today, I got sent a bunch of nude snapchats of my boyfriend that I've been dating for a year now. Surprisingly they weren't meant for me, I actually received screenshots from a gay boy who's been receiving them from my boyfriend for quite a while now. Also videos of himself whacking off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By annoyedchild - 15/04/2016 20:59 - United States - Bronx

Today, after about an hour and a half at the mall with my family, I finally opened my mouth for the first time to ask what store we were going to goto next. My answer was - " I'm so tired of your fucking voice, your giving me a headache. Shut up already." Thanks, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Hell's-Just-An-Excuse - 15/04/2016 20:57 - United States - Kevin

Today, I told my family I'm moving out. I've just turned 18 and my stepmom wanted to know the "rush". Apparently being verbally abused, insulted, and treated like sh*t for the past nine years are just "excuses". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By DirtyJenkins - 15/04/2016 20:44 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was briskly walking to the bathroom after feeling some Chinese food I had eaten for lunch my boss stopped me. He told me one of our coworkers was reported for "sounding like a masturbating baboon" on a business call. I laughed so hard that I no longer needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By flutenin - 15/04/2016 20:35 - United States

Today,while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By vbguy16 - 15/04/2016 20:35 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was using the urinal at a concert and some guy walks up next to the urinal next to me, looks directly down for about 15 seconds and says "nice watch, what brand is is?" my watch was on the hand that was holding my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By efarley - 15/04/2016 20:26 - United States

Today, after spending 4 months looking for work exhausting my savings, maxing my credit cards and owing the IRS $30,000 I finally started work. Excited thinking I was going to pay off my debts I got a call saying they're selling the house I rent and I have till the end of the month to be out... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Bonerific - 15/04/2016 20:17 - United States - North Tonawanda

Today, it is my 2 year anniversary with my fiancé. It was a big day for us so I spent all of my time preparing an amazing night as well as spending over $600. Just as we were getting ready to leave she broke up with me claiming "our sex life is lousy!" And also "I fucked your dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By unlucky gal - 15/04/2016 20:07 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was told wearing opal if it isn't your birthstone is unlucky. I have an opal ring on. Not being superstitious I ignored it, until I lost my headphones, came home to see my puppy pooped all over the room she's in, and I fell into it face first. I guess I should have listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 033

You deserved it 3 009

Today, I returned to work after testing out my theory yesterday that absolutely nobody would notice or care if I just did not show up. So far so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 208

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 739

You deserved it 2 653

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 922

You deserved it 5 362

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 514

You deserved it 2 843

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 993

You deserved it 2 439