Nearly FMLs

By unknown - 18/06/2016 07:25 - United States - Central Point

Today, after injuring my ankle by stepping on a volleyball, I had to hop my way to the bathroom. While there, I kicked the toilet with my hurt foot, fell, and then slammed my eye on the corner of the towel rack. I now have a black eye and get the pleasure of explaining it to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 51

By Lejuicufruit - 18/06/2016 06:26 - United States - Aurora

Today, I'm incredibly grateful that I've never gone commando at work. As a children's librarian I play the part of a disciplinarian often, but I never imagined one of the kids I scolded would get angry and pull down my pants. The library was packed and at least 50 people saw me in my underwear. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 33

By gee wiz - 18/06/2016 05:24 - United States - Germantown

Today, a guy I've been seeing recently stayed over for the first time. In the morning, he kissed me on the cheek, then rolled out of bed and started peeing on my wall outlet. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 28

By captainamerica7 - 18/06/2016 05:24 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I'm miserable and can't stop crying but I don't know whether it's about losing my first love or the fact that I won't see his dog ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 05:20 - United States - Weslaco

Today,I finally took my crush out to a fancy dinner at a really expensive place.She made me assure her I was paying.She then proceeded to call her boyfriend in,who was waiting outside, to come eat for free.They each got $50 meals.FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 54

By TimeToMove - 18/06/2016 05:00 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my mom is so desperate for reasons to bitch at me she came into my room while I was sleeping, waking me up. She then bitched that I didn't answer her right away and then yelled that I'd somehow given her a "tone" in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 30

By EsteriGermaine - 18/06/2016 04:30 - United States - Trenton

Today, I learned that my sister trained my guinea pig to respond to the word 'asshat' while I was away. I picked out a pretty French name for him and he thinks his name is asshat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 04:23 - United States - Detroit

Today, I found out that the fact that I'm going into premedical and have graduated high school means nothing to my family. They would prefer to be more upset with the fact that I hugged my girlfriend in a graduation photo and hugged her again when she gave me my graduation gifts, Fml

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 25

By animesushi - 18/06/2016 04:13 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I was sitting on the couch, when suddenly a mattress hits me in the face.Yes, a mattress. It drew blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 27

By Nicholas0820 - 18/06/2016 04:03 - United States - Houston

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend and one of my good friends starting hitting on her and somehow thought saying I cheated on her would make him like her. I received my two jackets I gave to her and a letter that said "By the way that scent you smell is human pee, good luck getting that out"

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 20

By burned up - 18/06/2016 03:51 - United States - Naperville

Today, a lady came in with an overheating car for emissions testing. I told her to turn it off, she refused, put it in drive, then watched in horror after her engine blew up. I got blamed and reported by her, even though I warned her about it. Now I'm suspended and might get fired. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 12

By Jk17x - 18/06/2016 03:46 - United States

Today, just happens to be my 2nd anniversary with my boyfriend. Today also happens to be the night my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 22

By YogiBubba - 18/06/2016 03:26 - United States - Coronado Ntl Forest

Toady I put a box on back of a shelf. Stood up and hit the back of my head on the shelf above. Reacting to the impact, I jerked my head forward, hitting the front of my head on the bottom shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 22

By tate - 18/06/2016 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, on my way to work my motorcycle decided to die in the middle of traffic. Regardless of the fact it was 93F and I have to wear jeans to work. It was a long push. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 13

By DeanVendetta - 18/06/2016 03:09 - United States - Moss Point

Today, while at work a girl was being interviewed for a pizza delivery position. I overheard a co worker say she was a lesbian, so jokingly I said in a disgusted/surprised voice "oh no, we can't hire a lesbian!". Her girlfriend was sitting 5 feet from me. She was pissed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 121

By liv - 18/06/2016 02:58 - United States - Bristow

Today, after all the time I spent planning, the guy I was hanging out with tomorrow cancelled on me. That would be ok if it wouldn't have happened 5 other times and if there wasn't a new girl in his snapchat story. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 67

By horriblelife3006 - 18/06/2016 02:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have been having a horrible migraine since I woke up. I then have to babysit my cousin's horrible 5 year old whose Favourite activity is to scream In a high pitch voice at her Brother. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 33

By nervouseater - 18/06/2016 02:30 - United States - Palm Coast

Today, I was on a second date with a guy and was planning on making a move. I nervously ate two large slices of pizza and a thick piece of cookie cake, and the only move I ended up making all night was a painful trip to the bathroom.

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 48

By loserwife - 18/06/2016 01:48 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my dog got more appreciation for his birthday than my wedding annoucement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 15

By Just Me - 18/06/2016 01:47 - United States

Today, after a long day of work I headed upstairs to my room for a nap. I had left a black shirt on the railing of the stairs and at first glance thought it was a person. I freaked out and fell backwards down the stairs smacking my head against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 40

By New2this - 18/06/2016 01:30 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today was the first day that I went to work without makeup as I was late and having a super bad morning. I work at a school and upon entering the school, a kid came up to me and asked, "what happened to your face teacher?!" This was one of many comments like this throughout the day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 21

By WhatHappened - 18/06/2016 01:04 - United States - Homosassa

Today, I have finally realized that my fiancé is more in love with his phone than he is with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 27

By MissyofGalifrey - 18/06/2016 00:38 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I realised that because I'm so useless at making and maintaining friendships I'm not an inner member of anyone's friend group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 47

By Thisiswhyidonttalktoanyone - 18/06/2016 00:34 - United States

Today, having had never heard of the country and me being innocent, I mispronounced Niger without knowing. In class. While reading out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 32

By DitzyBrunette - 18/06/2016 00:29 - United States - Albuquerque

Today after a ten hour shift at work I came home to the meatloaf my girlfriend made on the stove. I put it in the microwave to heat it up and went to wash up, I forgot to take it out of the metal pan. Sorry about the new microwave babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 41

By infected backpacker - 18/06/2016 00:20 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I am traveling through Southeast Asia with my boyfriend. So far, we've had five weeks of hiking to remote temples in the jungle and seeing tourist attractions like the opening of Shanghai Disneyland! Today also marks the start of week three with the worst yeast infection of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 13

By Kyla - 17/06/2016 23:51 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was swimming with my boyfriend of a few months and I told him not to splash my face cause my nose gets runny and he thought I was joking and continued till I sneezed and it dripped all down my face in big blobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 13

By bloobalooby - 17/06/2016 23:50 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to come to his house even though I have no AC and its 100+ degrees outside. I get here and find out he isn't home, and he's not answering his phone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 8

By BeautifulMine - 17/06/2016 23:50 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up and turned on my side to look for my tiny new kitten in her bed on the floor next to mine. She wasn't there so I got up to look. I found her where I'd been laying, suffocated, by my body in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 15

By RedWolf16 - 17/06/2016 23:46 - United States - Porter

Today, I was really excited to see the lake house my family rented. I decided to swim in the salt water pool it had. After playing around for hours and hours, I realized I had something bulky in the pocket of my swim trunks. It was my phone... FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 22

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, and ever since our management implemented a time card 'clock in and out' system, it’s gone to hell. As long as the work was finished, the boss let us go at 3:30 so I could pick my kids up, but now I have to stay until at least 4:45 and rely on my 70 year-old mom to pick up and look after two hyperactive kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 230

Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 90

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 204

You deserved it 6 432

Taco Tuesday is a barrel of laughs until it's time to bid the beans and cheese farewell. Better out than in though, eh?

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 234

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 3 018

Today, I was bounced between four different pharmacies before I could find one that would take my insurance. Apparently, which insurance I had didn't matter as much as to where it came from. Also, one of the pharmacies was on their lunch break. They end their lunch break at 2pm; we came in at 1:58pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 126