Nearly FMLs

By The Dude. - 21/06/2016 23:24 - United States

Today, on my only day off, my Fiancé and I decided to go to the waterpark. as soon as we got there so did my sister, younger brother and her psychotic boyfriend.15mins into the lazy river, her boyfriend had a meltdown. They left. Now I'm with my crying 13 year old brother who won't ride anything.FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 33

By summerstar042 - 21/06/2016 23:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found a stick of butter. Under my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 32

By imnotaboy - 21/06/2016 22:55 - United States - Orlando

Today, my grandma got back from a trip to Trinidad and brought the whole family gifts. My gift was a t-shirt that says "Island Boy" on it.... I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 21

By thecarsalesman - 21/06/2016 20:53 - United States - Boomer

Today, I ran to the gas station at my work to get my boss and myself some drinks. When I checked out it turns out that the cashier was too lazy to separate the order and charged everything on my bosses card. Now I'm getting accused of stealing his money. And I'm out $9. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 19

By anonymous - 21/06/2016 20:49 - United States - American Fork

Today, my girlfriends jealousy issues got so out of control that she accused me of cheating on her while I was at work. She was at work too, with me. At my parents family owned business. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 16

By sotired - 21/06/2016 17:51 - United States - Maynard

Today, after coming home from working two jobs, I find that my unemployed sister-in-law has trashed my house along with her also unemployed boyfriend who just moved in. I guess I can add maid to my resume as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 60

By anonymous3 - 21/06/2016 17:46 - United States - Naperville

Today, I had to help my nanny kid with his school work so I logged onto his computer to find a bunch of porn sites. He also looked up my name to see if I was a porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 36

By Hot and Sweaty - 21/06/2016 17:37 - United States

Today, my mom asked me to wait in the car while she went into walmart. "It'll be like 10 minutes" she said. After an hour in the 96 degree weather, I decided to call her. She had been looking at the fish for an hour.

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 37

By MyMilkshake_24 - 21/06/2016 17:27 - United States - Stoughton

Today, I was arriving at my grandmas and when I met her she asked "Where's your girlfriend?" I told her that we broke up. Apparently, she wanted to see her more then she wanted to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 37

By movingbackhome - 21/06/2016 17:15 - United States - Live Oak

Today, I learned that the apartment building which I just signed a 1 year lease on is now condemned and the landlord is no where it be found, looks like I am moving back in with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 10

By idefka - 21/06/2016 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was watching horror stories alone in my room. It got to the climax of the story and my cat jumped up on the blinds behing me. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 55

By Cuti3baby666 - 21/06/2016 17:02 - United States - Wellsville

Today, I slept with my new boyfriend for the first time. All was fine till my ex walked in. I should have changed the locks.

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 52

By Valhalla01 - 21/06/2016 16:48 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, my sister told me that I was supposed to be a stain on my mom and dad's sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 45

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 16:30 - United States - Dracut

Today, we were pulling up to KFC when my mom asked what I would want. I said I wanted a breast, to which she responded, "You sound just like your father." I will never un-hear that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 27

By Kendall14159 - 21/06/2016 16:19 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after years of being terrified of wasps, I decided to go outside for a walk. I pushed the gate door open and felt an intense pain shoot through my hands and arms. There was a wasp nest no more than 2 feet from my hand with angry wasps swarming. Guess who's never going outside again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 15:51 - United States - Saratoga Springs

Today, my fiance decided that he wasn't ready to be married and that the engagement was off. oh but lucky me he wants me to be his girlfriend. He broke my heart and blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 33

By Staycee18 - 21/06/2016 15:35 - Australia

Today, I was on a bus coming from the Melbourne airport. I went camping the previous week. On the last day of camping I had twisted my ankle. We reached my stop. Seeing as I was crippled I let everyone else off first. Finally I was able to get off but instead of walking off, I fell off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 19

By Luna_Love_Luna - 21/06/2016 15:35 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I was working my job as a cashier and a big, sweaty, bald man came through my till. When the time came to pay, he reached into his ball cap and handed me a 20 dollar bill. It was drenched in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 17

By AnnonoymsFMLuser - 21/06/2016 15:32 - United States - East Brunswick

Today, my parents tried to control my life and tell me what I can and cannot do, I'm going to college in 4 months and they insisted they Skype me the rules. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 22

By kasindra - 21/06/2016 15:30 - United States - Louisville

Today, after anxiously waiting a call back from I job I applied for, I discovered that they did call. A week ago. My brother never told me they called. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 12

By KneeJerker - 21/06/2016 14:45 - United States

Today, I decided to take the train to go to a summer camp a few cities away. I waited. And waited. And finally found out the service was delayed 20-25 minutes due to a car on the tracks. Those "20-25 minutes" were my walking time from the station to the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 17

By aperron96 - 21/06/2016 14:40 - United States - Cambridge

Today, i got up and got ready for work at 6am, having not gone to bed until 2. When i got to work, i checked the planner to see what area I was working in. Apparently today was my day off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 34

By amileah13 - 21/06/2016 02:17 - United States

Today, I got home from my first day at my new job and my mom started yelling at me. She was upset because she let me get a dog months back and wanted me to find a job. Now that I have a dog and job, she's pissed at me because she doesn't get time to herself and is now pissed that I am working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 75

By just a fast food employee - 21/06/2016 02:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I had to stay after work for over an hour, unpaid, because someone else didn't do all of their work during their shift. I work closing shifts, with this resulting in my having to stay well into the morning. This is the second time it has happened this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 44

By SookieAdele - 21/06/2016 01:07 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I was making out with my fiancé and while we were kissing, he stopped and asked me why am I closing my eyes while kissing? And he started convincing me that I should open my eyes, and that I'm being so weird, he's so convinced I was doing it wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 33

By nosexytime - 20/06/2016 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, we had to move in to my boyfriends moms house since I just finished university and can't afford our own place until I get a job. Our bedroom is sharing a paper thin wall with his mums. Good bye sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 44

By parblar - 20/06/2016 20:54 - United States - Reading

Today, I was so constipated, I was on the toilet for about an hour and a half. The fiber supplements I've been taking for the past month literally didn't do shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 43

By Forever_cursed - 20/06/2016 17:28 - United States - Tampa

Today, I got pulled over by a male cop. When he got to my car he rolled his eyes in disgust and said my cleavage and short pants weren't gonna get me out of this. I was on my way to the beach this is what I was wearing originally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 127

By forever alone - 20/06/2016 14:56 - United States - Lake Ariel

Today, I was walking my neighbor's two dogs when I passed a hot, shirtless construction guy. I smile at him, he smiles back, and just as I go to say something, both dogs see a squirrel and bolt, causing me to fall on to the bag of dog poop I was holding. The stench was awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 54

By sassypantss - 20/06/2016 12:40 - United States - Denton

Today, I was helping my friend compete at a horse breed show. My heels started to hurt from standing all day long in riding boots, so my Trainer told me to squat down. The second I squat onto my toes, I heard my pants rip open in front of everyone else in the arena. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 84

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 661

You deserved it 1 998

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 981

You deserved it 2 967

Oops!

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 135

Today, I didn't think this sort of thing actually could happen, but I somehow sent a Snapchat message to the guy I have a crush on that was intended for my BFF. The message read, “I can’t wait to see him tonight, he’s so cute, I wanna lick his face off.” Said crush hasn’t responded. Yet. Or even ever? FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 425

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 273

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 318

You deserved it 26 931