Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for appearing "depressing" to customers. I told her that I was upset because my dog had to be put down yesterday. She told me, "Aw that’s sad. But guess what? That dog ain’t gonna pay your bills and put bread on your table. So cut the emo crap or you’re fired." FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, the manager that hired me and worked for years to inspire and connect her staff was laid to rest. Hours before the funeral, her replacement told me he wanted my two weeks notice on his desk tonight. I've been a model employee, he just doesn't like me. FML
Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mirthfulMessiahs 21
Sounds like a dead-end job to me.
ironichalibut 24
They already have to see a dead person in a coffin, they shouldn't have to see one behind the counter too, or whatever your new job is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
anders09ma 7
That's irony for ya...
theHIGHroad2 5
So, he wants you to throw a damn parade??
RobotSpaceWalrus 5
A black parade would be fairly appropriate.
andyyroxx 20
31- The Ghost of You would appreciate that. Good thinking.
ironichalibut 24
Isn't "black parade", itself supposed to be a euphemism for a funeral procession anyway? So it's entirely appropriate? Oh, that was the point and I missed it? I'll just catch the next one.
ocramavaf 15
#42 who's Helena
ElatedEarthling 15
49- Black parade, ghost of you, and Helena are all My Chemical Romance song references.
Dthnte 15
Hope the Teenagers don't spoil the funeral!
ksks1234 33
#38-- I was not born into it, I don't have any relatives or family friends in the business, but I chose it. The hours are long and the pay sucks, but I love my job. It is not a job for everyone, but why not go into it?
Meettitan 14
You shouldn't tell Mama what you've done, else those might be your Famous Last Words.
Slawter16 24
God bless all of you for those MCR references.
mirthfulMessiahs 21
Sounds like a dead-end job to me.
Dawnstempest 17
It sounds like he might have dug his own grave with his attitude.
ocramavaf 15
if he does not improve he'll be dead in the water
Rommel1942 9
'murica
hashshim 23
#50: Nice try, bud. Maybe next time.
beaglegal 42
*ba dum tiss*
iammeorami 25
Your boss doesn't sound like he cares about how his clients feel :/
Awahso 25
Eh I am sure it numbs you a bit. I mean thats why you see firefighters and cops making jokes about what they see and do; sometimes its the best way to deal with it. Now I don't know what he is expecting with clients; you have to be serious and respectful, yet you don't want to down them further. Its a balance.
browneyedgirl52 13
Well I doubt his boss was asking him to tell jokes and fool around, probably just to be extra cheerful and friendly because grieving people need that positive energy for the healing process.
patrickalamo 47
Very often a newbie at a funeral home is just sickening sweet and over sympathetic with Oooo's and aawww's when a family says anything. The boss wanted a normal acting person who would handle the business of the day, which is the job of the funeral director. Speaking from 20+ years of experience.
missMORPHeus 7
I work in the business too and I assure you they're not all like that
FightMyLiger 19
#58 Yes. You need more thumbs.
Axel5238 29
I completely agree on the salesman nature of the business. Watch the Penn & Teller episode call Death INC from the show Bullshit. As far as the OP the boss is just trying to toughen you up some. I worked in a hospital as an electrician and it can get depressing dealing with patients that are seriously ill and the highs/ low's of emotion the family go through. YOu kinda have to express condolences, but can't let it get to you too much.
mrt8062 7
Great boss, he know what he's doing Fyl
woainishamu 21
What kind of boss acts like this?
jkmartinjk 16
You must be new here, welcome!
desoto96 9
I can't tell if your boss is a dick, and doesn't want you too comfort them as much. Or if you're a dick and you need to "lighten the hell up."
flockz 19
be the life of the party!
juliaannw 11
Id imagine it would be very hard to if your environment is mostly consisted of grieving.
ironichalibut 24
Would, or wouldn't? It's not hard to party harder than a dead guy
ironichalibut 24
They already have to see a dead person in a coffin, they shouldn't have to see one behind the counter too, or whatever your new job is.
amandathecreator 22
You want to be supportive for the family and empathetic but not make them more depressed !
PenguinBitch 43
You will lighten the hell up if he /fires/ you. Because fire.....it lights up.... *walks out and drops mic*
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
u mean drops mic then walks out lol
Welshite 39
#22: You aren't the most rebellious are you?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
26--Ive had my moments.