Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
Today, the couple I've been housesitting for returned. Apparently, I kept the place too clean, and they don't believe that I actually stayed here. They're refusing to pay me. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, a client refused to pay for the nails I spent nearly three hours doing, because apparently it's her birthday and "you don't pay for birthday nails." She refused to pay, and we locked her inside the salon. She threw a bitch fit and rolled on the ground like a worm, kicking and screaming until the cops arrived. FML
Today, on site, my client was certain she had switched off her electric fence prior to me conducting an inspection of her boundary retaining wall. I overbalanced on my ladder and grabbed at the fence wires for support. The electricity was not switched off. FML
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Top comments
PoopNuggetLeader 4
There is a lovely product that many have tried and have had success with. It's called Slap-a-hoe. Works wonders.
BjgUsername 12
She probably just wanted an excuse not to pay you, some people are just pathetic OP.
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Comments (91)
_GoodGuy 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Alright! Time to sue!
rabidpeach 5
the correct term would be mechanics lein.
jisaac09 25
Usually a mechanic's lien is for people who actually fix something such as mechanics, roofers, carpenters. Surely though there is a type of service rendered lien OP could use if the homeowner won't pay. It would be a shame to take something like this to a small claims court.
feelingold 18
sue! sue! that's right this is FML b*tches
sum42guy2k 6
Actually have her arrested for theft of service
mattlw 25
Or #58, come back and poison her lawn.
Verota 6
And do even more work that OP will also not get paid for?!
Iceman226 17
Yes you could sue for a $40 grass cutting because it would most certainly be worth your time, or you could just start charging her $5 extra per mowing making back the original $40 overtime plus some. Just make sure to get paid upfront before mowing the lawn again.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
There is a lovely product that many have tried and have had success with. It's called Slap-a-hoe. Works wonders.
UnluckyGenius 21
Use a hoe to beat a hoe.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
Haha! I like the yard work jokes you got going on. Thumbs up my friend.
byron17 26
I do believe that it is beat a ho with a hoe. Seems that you'll have to rake in the profits from some other job though
UnluckyGenius 21
Next time make a crop circle in her yard!
_GoodGuy 11
Why would he come back and re-mow the lawn later?
UnluckyGenius 21
Well I am assuming that this is his business, she could be a long time customer, so he could forgive her jackassery and once her grass gets high enough she'll want OP to mow her lawn since good yard help is hard to find. Just double charge her the next time.
_GoodGuy 11
Well put, I like the way you think.
Koalacatcher 9
Ooooo tough luck.....
Koalacatcher 9
What?????? It's only the truth!!!!!!!!!
Mr_Satan 11
Not really... "Tough luck" luck is used situations where you have no recourse available...
BjgUsername 12
She probably just wanted an excuse not to pay you, some people are just pathetic OP.
CrookedCook 14
if anything, it seems like she totally planned it too.
Danielle7994 18
#5, Or just extremely cheap
gribbles 12
**** it. Refuse to leave until you receive payment, and threaten to call the cops.
Freethaawave 19
**** Tha Police.
Iceman226 17
Due to the fact he entered her house without "her permission," calling the cops could turn out badly for him.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Mow over a magazine in her yard. That'll teach her!
challan 19
Perhaps she didn't want to pay you for cutting her lawn OP... Maybe she showed you where the key was for something else. I have 70s **** music playing in my head... Picturing a sweaty, shirtless landscaper and a pool boy tending my ummmmm property. Yeah, my property.
firefighter925 18
Looks like He's gonna be doin a different type of landscaping. haaa
perdix 29
#11, I have "Stacey's Mom" playing in my head . . . thanks. "You missed a spot over there-ere-ere." Gack!
Jeffo193 13
Bow chicka wow wo!
ItsAUnicorn 27
Mow over a magazine. That'll teach her!
PoopNuggetLeader 4
You already said that.
PenguinBitch 43
^ Veruca Salt?
Zemmiphobia 11
Did you try explaining this to her? Bleach does wonders for lawns by the way.
AquanTheDragon 5
Maybe OP should recommend that to the bitch. Sure would set her straight.