Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
probably the best 5 months of his life.
Iamnotmyself 17
Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog
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Comments (192)
hannahtaskey 9
probably the best 5 months of his life.
YourEvilHero 12
yeah And the next 5 will be spent inside too. inside a jail cell
Eyeliner_fml 0
And no one noticed this?
Jvr91 8
Roommate!!
zachherbert 10
Today, some man came home from his deployment. He is yelling at me to get out. He's pissed I ate all his food, trashed his lice, and broke his toilets. FML
RayanneY 0
His life, not OP's.
Pixxio_O 11
Aww now you have someone to share your life with :')
imustbeinsane 2
hes not really homeless now is he?
OoLogicalOo 4
Keep him as a pet :D
SecretlyEvil9792 22
At least someone got some use out of the house.
shybear15 0
Sharing is caring
bfrench95 0
They used your house for an f-shack
kyarush 10
Woo soup kitchen
tjv3 10
to the people that voted YDI I say go to hell and die you rat bastards. get some respect for the men and women that serve our country. to OP I want to thank you for your service and welcome home. hopefully you kicked the guys ass and sent him to jail. again I'm glad you are home safe and THANK YOU
andy_l 14
157, why so serious.
Iamnotmyself 17
Considering your an army person, I would declare a battle for your house. Rules: One M16 2 clips 1 knife A grenade And a dog
MrSexyPants 14
Army person. Hehe.
likasumboooodi 0
**** that I wanna tank!!!
Iamnotmyself 17
Also could a borrow a tank to kill any grammar Nazi's that correct *you're.
morganrules123 10
What? No RPGs? Im outta here!
Iamnotmyself 17
-30 he wants to keep his house "slightly" intact.
MrleClochard 4
Just put a baby octopus on your finger and he will surrender no mather what.
flockz 19
would multiple octupus be "octo-pie"? or "octopus-ies"? i just dont know...
Confuciussay 6
30 - the army don't use RPGs we use AT4s and most units now are using the M4 platform nowadays.
SpruceDread4578 13
what about EMP? lol
Iamnotmyself 17
For ***** sake this isn't Sirin we're talking about, he can't just get a freaking nuke and set it above the atmosphere!
thatASIANman 2
they're called magazines, not clips
BradyT918 9
I hope that knowledge your allowed to give out to the public. or your more ****** than the homeless dude is.
Iamnotmyself 17
-69 Sirin doesn't own a nuke... Ya I ****** up. Switch to alpha phase 2.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
1. Octopodes is the correct term 2. Magazines are for rifles, clips are for pistols and anything under a .22 cal rifle round 3........... U.S.A.! U.S.A.!! 4. I'm a little high; so if this doesn't make any sense what so ever... That'd be why. :D
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I hate it when people mix up magazine and clip; they're different. Clip: a metal frame or container holding cartridges for a magazine rifle or automatic pistol. Magazine: a metal receptacle for a number of cartridges, inserted into certain types of automatic weapons A clip goes into a magazine to load it faster OR goes directly into the weapon itself. The M1 Garand, Kar 98k, and Lee-Enfield SMLE are some examples of weapons that use a clip to reload directly. M14, M16, AK-47, G3, M1911, M9, UMP-45, M24 all use magazines to load, but clips will make them load faster (instead of loading each round manually into the magazine with your fingers).
Iamnotmyself 17
-75 So I am still slightly right? Yes now I can give myself chocolate! EDIT: how did I get 73? Wow
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
76 - You're only half right. Clips don't load into the M16 directly. You need to load it into the magazine and then load the magazine into the weapon.
Iamnotmyself 17
-77 Well damnit. Thanks though, now I know!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
69- Military personnel are allowed to divulge information about the weapons they use. They just can't give specific information regarding missions, since most are classified and therefore considered a threat to homeland security.
ijrnelson 0
I would like bullet proof vest, belt fed M60, and a machete
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Enemy dogs inbound!
NikkaIraKate 1
How about each has a beretta with a single bullet first person dies in the standoff wins Or Use a .50 cal to scare him Or Give him a few buck then ask him to leave
lulzworthy 3
They're called MAGAZINES, not CLIPS, and servicemen don't go home with grenades.
Iamnotmyself 17
-117 Can't tell if trolling, or just stupid.
StefanoMorelli 0
can i have a revolver?
Insane_Tea 15
I'll go get mymommaship. They're a little oped and should be nerfed but goddamit I'm a man that likes a large, expensive carrier. With a range of 7 and 6 attacks this girl isn't a force to be reckoned with.
erobus707 0
How do you know he's army? There at other branches than just army.
AceShots95 0
it would be octopods
NavySEAL13 0
All I need are my hands. Maybe a knife and a sig saucer navy 9mm pistol
ugottaluvme 0
-76 Will it be chocolate cocks or chocolate boobs?
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Ahh, I just bought a Taurus "Judge" .45/.410 5 shot revolver with double action. Bitch is one of the sweetest guns I've ever owned by far. Highly recommend picking one up.
hopelessxdesign 5
20-his grammar is actually right. You are house would not make any sense, so obviously it is correct that he said "your house"
yayyer 0
an emp really... it's one homeless guy
yayyer 0
true dat
ThatOneBush 8
Also the army dosent use m16s and now nor do the marines
RennYummBaby 0
That's pretty shitty. I'm sorry..
BuckeyeNut28 1
nice eyes sexy!!
xlord 27
LOL Horny Internet eye chat...
prince122 0
eye fetish, the only time jizzing in her eye is not a fail.
Skie1 0
Who the hell would "you deserved this"!? Trolling bastards...
tylersign 11
Duh, everyone nowadays has those magic elves that tell you when homeless people move into your house while you're gone. Obviously OP hasn't installed those yet. So, deserves it. Only explanation I could think of. xD
keshav97 0
LOL well there r those lonely ppl out there who have nothing better to do then randomly troll on things... although this site has more than normal
miraggg 1
Its called an alarm system...
fanceh 10
it's called being in Afghanistan for 5 months. sorry he didn't get the alert on his phone.
Perdition 4
Fanceh- Alarm systems are installed and monitored by security companies. When the alarm goes off, they get an alert. If they can't get ahold of the registered owner or someone doesn't call immediately with the code, they are supposed to call the police and/or ensure a security team is sent ASAP. So yes, while this was not directly OP's fault, I'd venture a guess that he didn't tale the necessary precautions to make sure his shit was safe. IE: - alarm system - having a family member/very close friend check your house regularly (interior) - having a neighbor watch his house (exterior) - that's about all, I'm sure there are more but I'm too damn lazy to type anymore.
Perdition 4
take*
Kukua 5
I agree. Although this totally sucks, it's the OP's fault for not having someone check in on his house now and then when he's gone for 5 months. Was nobody picking up the mail or mowing the lawn?
jlstough 10
i'm going to go against my better judgement and use a lame one-liner, but, if you won't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.
Gotrees 0
Maybe I'm a douche, but I don't usually YDI. I just think that if I were away for that long, I would do something to protect the house. At least ask the neighbors to check on it or something.
Dojan 16
Well. He wasn't living there for five months. The not so homeless man deserved it.
PurpleFrostingg 7
Did you kick him out?
likasumboooodi 0
no he/she welcomed him and said stay till you feel like leaving
doctor_awesome 8
dumbest. question. ever.
Kyuubi1589 1
They say 'there are no dumb questions, only dumb people.' Your comment proved this false.
0pt1mus 6
I agree with 26. Btw nice face in pic
KaanTech 0
did you kicked him out can be asked in varius times the saying is still correct but clearly 5 is a dump person we are now in defcon logic restored.
applesuckers 0
lmao. A dump person? Yea, we really need a logic restore.
MrSexyPants 14
You've got to admit...that's pretty smart of him. But you can always kick him out, then call the police if that doesn't work, you know.
Majstr 23
The old good baseball bat will do the trick.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Just think of him as a free house sitter.
cptcook 0
This Is why i moved all my stuff into a storage unit befor deployment last year... Gauranteed it'd b safe and no piss smelling was sleepin on it or stealing it!
Majstr 23
Feel sory for you. Hous must be realy smelly and mesed up.
applesuckers 0
lol. there are showers and I'm pretty sure a laundry room...
kissingdeath 0
Just because he is homeless doesn't mean he's disgusting and doesn't take care of himself
prettyinpink03 11
Not as messed up or as smelly as all those spelling errors.
hottiewitdamesse 8
Don't b an ass. That's stereotyping. Get a life and stop tagging on ppl.
Dalliance 4
I really wonder what condition he kept the house in. A free five-month cleaning service? ...Probably not.
sarah_loves_yuh 0
Ugh! Hate when that happens! :(
lag96 7
This "happens"... this has happened numerous times?
Burnbaby 0
Yes it happens, homeless people break into houses and buildings that they think are empty to not have to stay out in the elements.