Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56274) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54504) - you deserved it (12203)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53031) - you deserved it (3363)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (3948)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44325) - you deserved it (7247)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (6518)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (67871)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (74699)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: