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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (18686)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (1550)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (5476)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (1927)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6727) - you deserved it (22441)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you deserved it (7976)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (1647)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (1628)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16933) - you deserved it (1307)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)



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