Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (8160)
On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16724) - you deserved it (5579)
On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (2715)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (1902)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15449) - you deserved it (1287)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (1754)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15500) - you deserved it (19922)
On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (1446)
On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (1490)
On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (767)
On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (19520)
On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4395) - you deserved it (19577)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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