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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (1299)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (1468)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (2225)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (3767)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (28456)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (2209)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13089) - you deserved it (31612)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19002) - you deserved it (24302)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (3849)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (5930)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)



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