Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (3290)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (955)
On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15446) - you deserved it (923)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14426) - you deserved it (2962)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18532) - you deserved it (8110)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (1768)
On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (21307)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18632) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13002) - you deserved it (17594)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10559) - you deserved it (15357)
On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (19976)
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7994) - you deserved it (30547)
On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Friday 24 May 2013
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