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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21999) - you deserved it (4531)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (1517)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7953) - you deserved it (39415)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (11615)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (5157)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (2835)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17442) - you deserved it (26802)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (4833)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18199) - you deserved it (26709)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (3567)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (4923)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (19881)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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