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September 2012

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Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

by SummerJob / 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm / Work

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

by future MIL slasher / 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML

by mstar / 09/24/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

by Chucho / 09/01/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

by what the fuck, mate / 09/30/2012 at 3:00pm / Australia / Work

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML

by Albert / 09/20/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Work

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. It's also the first year I've had her gift purchased, wrapped and mailed on time. The post office lost the parcel. FML

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

by Can't Win / 09/09/2012 at 11:01am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

by BuspassBob / 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm / United States / Money

Today, I decided to help my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

by kirassi919 / 09/20/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous