Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, uncertain of having a job next month or being able to pay rent, I'm filling out tens of online surveys a day for gift cards to McDonald's, to buy hamburgers that I can freeze so I will have food for the coming months. FML

#20065270
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (2328)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:45pm - money - by willtype4food (man) - Finland

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (1862)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (1386)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

#20089585
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (1452)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (2077)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14953) - you deserved it (4043)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (5563)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15819) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to help my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

#20080686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (1761)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by kirassi919 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML

#20080326
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (3201)

On 09/20/2012 at 2:10am - work - by Albert (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: