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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70077) - you deserved it (7082)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61136) - you deserved it (9401)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66479) - you deserved it (9762)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53974) - you deserved it (7914)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61731) - you deserved it (5574)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

#20767253
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (9971)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51849) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63164) - you deserved it (7529)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49904) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56625) - you deserved it (9633)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML



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