Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML
Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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Top comments
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
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Comments (213)
Brandy_RazorSpan 0
Really? how dose one let something like that happen?
someone2me2 1
does
cutebuttshorty 0
what's a bum???
blankaex 0
Hobo (homeless)
dabears4life 0
people can do some crazy shit on drugs... trust me I used to work in a rehab facility.
jellycorn 13
What I find odd is that he knew exactly how tall she was.
chris4u2nv5 19
You sir, need some Jenny Craig or P90X
mathews666 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
blkwhtrbbt 0
WIN. what an awesome comment.
Serial 2
every bum knows how to fight
GiddyXD 0
true dat.
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
reras89 0
That's why you don't give a bum money unless you have spare change in your pocket. Why the hell would you expose your wallet. YDI.
Anonymus101 4
LOL, YDI for getting your ass kicked by a woman a foot smaller then you.
AnneFTW 17
Hahaha! I'm sorry for laughing at you but this is just too funny! XD
mootimee 0
Yes, I'm sure that as you got the shit beaten out of you, you took out your measuring tape to record that this bum was 5'0, exactly.
SenoraC 0
I would.
greenman_fml 0
i have no clue how a 5 foot woman could beat you up. i'm sure there was a way to defend yourself. punch her in the face, run away, punt her, step on her. whatever it takes