Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML
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Top comments
natheitz 23
You could try getting a job getting shot at with paintballs for 6 hours
Jemm_fml 29
Please don't steal. Asking for help is a much better option. Better to borrow or even beg.
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Comments (85)
ElricMustang 23
Why not just ask if they can get you one and you'll pay them back?
Welshite 39
But willing to steal from a friend is perfectly fine? That seems more cowardly than prideful.
Rainhawk94 27
Eh better than getting a job getting shot at with paintballs
TheTacoMan 24
Also #1 if the OP is having financial troubles why doesn't she sell her computer?
alycion 38
Computers are used for job hunting, and in my case, to make money. I can't code on a public system.
s13495 19
Selling something, like a PC, for hygiene products is pointless, a PC would serve more purpose and could aid the situation... Also OP might have posted from a smartphone :/
ClashParody 21
@67 I'll agree that a PC is helpful for job hunting, but I wouldn't say hygiene products serve a lesser purpose for the cause. Wearing deodorant is definitely a plus at interviews.
annihil8or 15
@76 that's true, but you can't get an interview for a real job without a PC.
Jemm_fml 29
Please don't steal. Asking for help is a much better option. Better to borrow or even beg.
cheshirecat13242 32
Indeed. Being stinky sucks, but stealing really stinks
patrickalamo 47
Get a part time job. If you have time to visit a friend you have time to deliver a pizza.
Welshite 39
Don't ruin your friendship over deodorant. If you have to, you can use baking soda as a cheap alternative.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
My one friend swears by using baking soda for damn near everything. He uses it as his shampoo and he uses it to brush his teeth. He doesn't smell too bad for being a semi homeless hippie and his teeth aren't rotten either. So I'd take 3's advice, OP. Then you'll have toothpaste as well as deodorant.
prinncess00 16
Or alcohol. isopropyl or mouthwash as a cheap alternative.
Andrai 10
I'm just saying that if they have a strong enough friendship stealing/borrowing/pickpocketing any kind of small hygeine product shouldnt bother them. Like if my friend Jasmine came over and stole my soap bar I'd ask her why she did it but I wouldnt care that she did. However, if she came over and stole my Zune I'd kick her in her knee caps and push her in a bush. :3 So, I think that OP taking deoderant is an okay idea if they have a good friendship, but then again if they had a good friendship they'd be able to talk about money troubles so probably not the best idea.
natheitz 23
You could try getting a job getting shot at with paintballs for 6 hours
TheDrifter 23
Try begging, it must work, millions of people do it. Maybe sing a song or play an instrument in the street, you're bound to have enough for deodorant by morning. Or try one of them "sugar daddy" web sites.
OMFGenesis 7
Beg my ass, I would rather struggle than use someone else's deodorant. That's just nasty
Bano360 25
Obviously a roll on would be nasty. But not a spray.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I honestly don't see how it would be too disgusting unless you're friends with some nasty ass mother *******. I put my deodorant on after a shower like most people. So I'm clean every time I use it. It rolls on the outside of your skin, it's not like you out it in your mouth like a toothbrush.
Kkkdawg 27
******* princess. I can see you've never been in a state of need. I hope no one ever helps you.
dingleberrysteve 6
i agree, but then again i usually go au naturale
150493x 29
Don't resort to stealing. You'll be worse off if you do. Hopefully there are people in your life that will be willing to help you out enough for you to get back on your feet. Don't feel ashamed to ask for help! Good luck.
fakedsincerity 32
if they're really your friend they'll lend/buy you one if you ask and explain the situation. there's no shame in needing a little help.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
it better be the spray kind,, otherwise you aren't a good friend!
HarleyBlues 24
Technically they're the bad friend for not buying the spray kind for op to steal.
ElricMustang 23
I hope that was a joke...
HarleyBlues 24
Did it sound like one? I thought it did... I guess it doesn't sound right over the internet.
QQmore_fml 18
A good friend would just buy it for you, try asking? Sorry OP, I'm sure you money problems will get better.