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ScrewedForCheapBag This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff Sacramento, United States

Loot

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

They must have had something really painful in their teeth.

They probably thought it was your weed in the plastic bag. And if they had beef jerky stuck between their teeth, they may have been desperate enough to break into your car to get a toothpick. Lesson for today, kids: Don't eat beef jerky unless you have easy access to floss and a Water-pik!

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Comments (52)

They must have had something really painful in their teeth.

"Must...get...popcorn...kernel. .out of my teeth!!! AHHHSGHKDFKHHD" *smash*

OP should just be glad that's all that was stolen.

Think about it this way, Op - would you have rather they steal something valuable AND break your window? Or just deal with the window and lose the toothpicks.

All that means is that your piece-of-shit car isn't worth stealing, nor is any of your other crap you had in it.

That wasn't very nice.

It's DocBastard, what did you expect?

Am I supposed to be nice now?

Either the thief doesn't know how to Hotwire a car, or he knew the car is equipped with tracking devices, or like you said, doesn't worth the trouble..

They probably thought it was your weed in the plastic bag. And if they had beef jerky stuck between their teeth, they may have been desperate enough to break into your car to get a toothpick. Lesson for today, kids: Don't eat beef jerky unless you have easy access to floss and a Water-pik!

There is a beef jerky brand that comes with a free toothpick. Poor thief should have bought that.

#5, I found it! It's called Hardtimes Beef Jerky. It's this kind of ingenuity that makes me proud to be an American!

Epikouros 32

Does it have a warning label not to eat the toothpick?

#24, probably, and this is when my pride becomes tempered with humility ;)

I love beef jerky!

SnoochBoochie 14

Ten cent bag = dime bag, perhaps.

Is that where they get the term "dime bag?"

Ten grams of weed per dime bag

are you stupid?

If gaming has taught me anything they probably took the tooth pick to pick lock doors.

She probably meant pick locked doors. Lock pick would be the tool used to pick the lock.

But why would they even need that after already breaking into OP's car?

28, Well it sounds like they didn't quite break into Op's car craftily as is evidenced by the damage OP is reporting to her car.

That sucks ): At least your weed wasn't in there! XD

Wow you must have a good memory. I'd never notice if that kind of crap went missing from my car. At least you're not spending the rest of your life asking yourself, "What did they take?!"

Given what's missing I'd say they just broke in because they wanted to clean your car for you.

they must have needed. a tooth pick bad

Toothpicks are in high demand these days, be sure to hide them next time. If they're minty it's no wonder they got stolen criminals love mint ones.

I would be pretty impressed if the thief knew if it was minty or not before breaking into the car.

Everyone knows thieves love to build nik naks with toothpicks and sell them on eBay