Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from my cousin saying that he's gay. I was thrilled and told him that I'm bisexual. He later texted me saying that his friend took his phone and said that. He also told all of our relatives. I accidentally came out to my family. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hk_fml 9
O_o why are you complaining? You have a loving family that accepts you and encourages you to be yourself! Feel lucky!
SaintJimmy 0
Am I the only one who doesn't get how giving someone a fruitcake means that you think they're gay?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
hk_fml 9
O_o why are you complaining? You have a loving family that accepts you and encourages you to be yourself! Feel lucky!
Reyo 2
One problem: THEY THINK HE'S SOMETHING HE'S NOT. How would you feel if your family was convinced that you were a homosexual? Huh? How would that feel? Your mother saying "It's ok, It's perfectly normal" as she sobs uncontrollably and your Dad drinking it away with the Jager I got him for Christmas I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS A HE GOD DAMNIT!
tisiphone_fml 0
Hmm, I really do understand you're embarrassed, but here are two things to console you. Firstly, your entire family loves and accepts you enough to accept whatever you may be (however misguided) - and they have a sense of humor about it. There are thousands of people in the world who would trade anything for that. Secondly, there's nothing wrong with being homosexual - so don't take it as an insult. Yes, I realize that the people you love think that you're something that you're not, and that hurts. But, what is it about you that made them think that? Which particular stereotype(s) did they choose? Perhaps was something that a lot of people would think is a good quality in general (particularly women) - cleanliness, good sense about clothing and hygiene, or good conversation skills, artistic ability, etc? None of those things is bad... and a lot of women are desperate for a guy who keeps himself and his surroundings neat and is actually willing to hold a conversation!
dnlphm94 0
^ Over-analytic much? I'm pretty sure real gay people don't like being called "fruity" and giving him a fruitcake kind of says "fruity." So, either way, it can be taken as an insult.
dudeitsdanny 10
I really don't think the FML was about being considered "fruity." Anywhoooo.... Most people assume I'm gay. No idea why. At LEAST bisexual. Again, no idea why. I'm straight. I started taking it as a compliment about a year ago, and it's worked out pretty well for me.
convectuoso88 0
I would take an accepting family who thinks I'm something I'm not than a close-minded family any day.
Oz_Alice 0
He's complaining because he's NOT gay, maybe? O_O
girlygirl666 0
....Or, it could just be that Nobody likes fruitcake= Nobody likes you. Maybe that's what you were supposed to get from that gift.
bdrodd 0
yea, the same with me, but it goes away, especially if you get a girlfriend
SpyroCool 13
What the hell is wrong with you?
manymany 0
lol!!! wow tht ruins xmas
purple91 8
Their* Sounds like a cute family though.
Retaheki 27
What are you correcting?
Luckster 0
Even if you were gay, that's a downright insult. =_=
ugh_a_lug 7
true true
FarSide 23
@36: if that helps your guilty conscience sleep at night, then dream on.
welovekevin 0
wow umm well in case you change your mind at least you know they will accept you XD
lives_ppl 0
Aww I love your family. It's almost a bad thing that you're straight now... XD
the_raf 0
John Travolta, is that you?
indydegrees1 0
did I hear my name?
OkageStarr 0
I get joked on by my family all the time about my sex life (or lack thereof), and I gotta say, if your family wasn't just making a bad joke, FYL indeed, op. The appropriate response is to find some male member of your extended family (not blood... an in-law preferably), and pretend to hit on them. At some point, break the truth to your family, and remind them not to make assumptions, because it can be quite awkward. For everyone.
quinnteh 0
wtf?
doof_fisch 2
tee-hee You said "male member" and "extended" in the same sentence!
criminalmind 10
Denile isn't just a river in Africa.
TheLoneWolf87 4
Dammit where's Pedobear?
captcdm501 0
What makes you think that?