Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 413
You deserved it 3 672

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Rebecca1993 0

._. boy do you know how to pick them.

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

Comments

M13LO 0

you should have got busy since she was already there

i wouldnt. craziness is a turn off for me. unless shes got some epic ****.

czarofandronia 0

LMFAO U should get a restraining order on that chick

why if a guy does something like that he is a creeper or perv but it's perfectly ok for a bitch to do it?

yes_im_hater 0

are you jesus? do you happen to work at a Record and Tape Traders?

greenltrn2003 0

well...of course. the bird is the word

JustAReaderOfFml 4

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

of course it's an FML, I mean I guess he had a reason to break up with her and doesn't wanna have a relationship with her anymore, while she crazily does. but the really bad part about this is that she has a key... that's pretty creepy. if he does something she doesn't like she can sneak into his apartment and mess it up. you should've seen the crazy eyes though, so YDI! j/k FYL.

catastrophicsock 0

Hi. Please learn English/learn how to type. Thanks.

mrlucky4444 0

#5- first of all, learn how to spell secondly, your story did not happen to your friend, you took it straight from the movie Paranormal Activity

azhein 0

number 5 do you seriously think that was the fml?

lagodfatha 0

um I don't understand ur story at all u confused the hell outta me

5, please stfu and get off the internet

#5 what you're referring to is the movie called paranormal activity.

I'd have to agree with 111. The use of "totes" not only made me want to give a courtesy chuckle, but it totes wanted me to join in and troll too.

ArielTheMermaid 17

yeah I knew where it was going when he said micah

5- O_O I sincerely hope you are not as pathetically retarded in real life.

I really just wanna take your keyboard and hit you in the urethra with it. That'll teach you to spell.

LOL it's funny yet disturbing at the same time.

She sounds like a keeper. Always by your side, just like a dog. That's loyalty.

jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

jake040 3

dogs can't make sandwiches though

does she look like Meryl Streep? fatal attraction if I ever heard one. she isn't afraid of commitment, though. that's a plus

waterynuggets 0

Nah I think it would help more if she resembled Glenn Close.