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By oh - / Tuesday 23 February 2016 02:41 / United States - San Francisco
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By  squizzlebee  |  17

That... really sucks. Although I think it sucks a little more for her than for you. You may not be her boyfriend any more OP but I think the break-up speech can maybe wait a bit until she's been awake for a while and got used to the world around her again. That's a long time to have been in a coma and I imagine it would take a while to adjust. The best thing you can do is be there for her now and try to keep her emotionally well. Who knows, she might remember you've broken up a little down the line. Good luck with it.

By  hardcorefan16  |  21

I feel more sorry for her than for you. She was in a coma and now you have to brake her heart again. I get it but it still sucks for her.

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By  squizzlebee  |  17

That... really sucks. Although I think it sucks a little more for her than for you. You may not be her boyfriend any more OP but I think the break-up speech can maybe wait a bit until she's been awake for a while and got used to the world around her again. That's a long time to have been in a coma and I imagine it would take a while to adjust. The best thing you can do is be there for her now and try to keep her emotionally well. Who knows, she might remember you've broken up a little down the line. Good luck with it.

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  amazed_71  |  14

I kind of agree with you but we don't know enough. if they broke up a year ago, it is extremely possible that the OP has a different significant other in his life. if this is the case, I think he should maintain his distance, and let her parents tell her the news when she is ready to hear it.

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  queerdragon  |  20

The best thing for Op to do is remain away from her. She is going to have a lot of problems in her life. She is going to (potentially) have to relearn some hard things. Op is not her boyfriend and it doesn't sound like he wants to be. It's been 12 months. It didn't seem to be him sitting beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up and be with him again. He didn't even know she was awake until the parents called because she was distressed, not because of the good news. It's an FML to him. He doesn't want to date her. If he wanted to be with her again, he would rejoice at this chance to support her like he used to. So you want him to go in, pretend to be with her, in the hopes she either remembers or until she is emotionally strong. Then you want him to leave again, causing her to have even more pain to deal with. Instead of just telling her they broke up before the coma, you are going to let her get more attached. It sucks, I feel bad for her, but he needs to really stay out of this. It could make the girl even worse.

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  Star_Gazer_x  |  16

I think OP should stay away from this situation. I feel sorry for the poor girl as waking up from a coma is a trauma very few of us could really understand, but OP being there for her and supporting her will only reinforce that they are still together... The girls parents shouldn't have gotten OP involved in this, he obviously doesn't want to be with this girl; they should have let her calm down and then informed her of the reason he wasn't there...

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  Xcizer  |  17

That's fucking stupid. Lying to someone who was in a coma for possibly weeks or months that you are in a relationship that ended could bring up emotional wounds for OP and her if she remembers. Not to mention how would she feel about OP lying about the relationship once she gets her memory back. This is the worst thing he can do for both of them.

By  JHPugh  |  19

That's rough.. If you broke up with her beforehand, I hope she takes it well. If you broke up with her while she was in a coma, she's probably going to be hurt.

By  Bok_Choi  |  7

Well, maybe things will work out better this time? But I'm curious. What was the reason the first time?

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

#3 and #6 did

By  kampuchea  |  6

Wow that is a very tricky situation you find yourself in, OP. I don't know how you're going to handle it... At least, if it's possible, try to support her as a friend. I can't imagine what it's like to wake up from a months-long coma. I hope you don't guilt yourself into getting back together with her if you had good reasons to break up in the first place. Guilt is never a good reason to stay with someone... Maybe you will be the asshole of the story and there's nothing you can do about it. Good luck... and give us a follow-up!

By  hardcorefan16  |  21

I feel more sorry for her than for you. She was in a coma and now you have to brake her heart again. I get it but it still sucks for her.

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  smackaroonial  |  20

#22, brake her heart is correct, because it's beating too fast for him.

By  Xamry14  |  10

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  DoomedGemini  |  37

I don't think it's fair to say op should try again because she was in a coma. It really sucks but if he's happy now, why should he go back? Why does it have to be abuse for him not to go back?

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  anonymuse_fml  |  31

#23 - #6 wasn't saying it would be abuse to not get back together. What they meant was that, unless the reason they broke up in the first place was because of abuse in the relationship, maybe they should try again.

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  DoomedGemini  |  37

I understand what they said, I guess my phrasing wasn't clear. Abuse shouldn't be the only "reasonable" excuse not to try again. Getting back together can work, sure, but because of sympathy or guilt? I doubt that will end better. The op obviously doesn't want to be with her, that should be reason enough for him not to try again.

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Also, and before I start I'm gonna say that we don't know the how or why she went into a 4 month coma, but if she thinks she's still in a relationship that most likely 8 months ago, she probably isn't in a completely lucid state. I know that long term memory can be affected by comas and 4 months is a damn long coma, which would lead me to guess that she may have difficulty recovering to a normal state any time soon, if ever. And that's not even taking into account how fucked up most people's bodies get after being in a coma for that long.

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  queerdragon  |  20

Exactly. I heard a news report about a woman who woke up from a coma and lost 10 to 20 years of her life. She didn't remember her children, he husband, even her education. She had to learn to walk, talk, and exist like a normal person. People seem to think she is just going to return to her life with little problem. He would be not only putting aside whatever romantic aspirations he has but being the emotional support of a woman who might not be able to walk or take care of herself normally. That is asking a lot from someone who hasn't been with her for 12 months. If they were still close, he would have been there at the hospital during this time. I think that the best course of action is for the parents to just say they broke up. Yes, it would be nice to have a feel good Notebook story about the girl in the coma and her loving ex getting back together. But Op shouldn't be required to do that. And worse, if she remembers they broke up while he is intimate with her, it will be even worse. I know I would feel betrayed and dirty if someone did that. The moral thing is to tell her the truth and move on.

By  tygerarmy  |  35

Hopefully you don't have a new girlfriend right now, as that would make things even more awkward. Maybe after a bit she will remember as she recovers and thanks you for helping her out.

By  JenPanda  |  6

OP don't force yourself into a relationship out of sympathy. It definitely sucks that she's going through all this, but if you want to be supportive maybe explain that you did already break up but you will be there for her through recovery. What if she remembers later? Ouch

By  revolvearoundme  |  14

You could just treat her like an old friend and tell her things didn't work out between you. Bring a bag of break up candy! Good luck with this, her parents should have taken care of it but they're probably emotional wrecks right now.

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