Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3954) - you totally deserved it (39819)
On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
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I've driven so drunk before that I didn't remember where I parked the next day. It's not like it impairs your abilities so much that you can't function. Actually, texting reduces your reaction speed by 35% and drinking only reduces it by 12% so it was the texting that caused him to rear-end her. Not the drinks.
Everyone insists they're a fine driver drunk until they FUCKING KILL SOMEONE. God how stupid can you get??? Hopefully you will die before you kill anyone else.
#54 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:30pm by Flounder
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How can I kill anyone else when I haven't killed anyone in the first place?
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Oh, and if you look at the numbers you are 3 times more likely to kill someone by texting than drinking. So unless you have never texted while driving, you shouldn't hope that I would die.
Wow, call me retarded, that's politically correct. Those numbers are based off of BAC, so yes, that considers every one of your "variables."
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No, that's just short-term memory loss after sleeping. If you ever drink, you know your limits as to what you can or cannot do.
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Well no shit, the statistics were just over the legal limit.
No. Haha, no.
No no no no. No. =)
I agree texting while driving is fucking stupid but saying it's fine to drive drunk and that it doesn't impair you, no. It's untrue. It doesn't matter if you think you're a good driver or think it's fine. It's not.
#85 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:41pm by TysonFawlay
tyson how the fuck would you know you have neither a)drank alchol b) drove a car so please stfu
#92 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:53pm by Unregistered
Who are all the idiots who think it's perfectly safe to text and drive, drink and drive, or the combination of these? I hope we're never driving within proximity of one another.
#112 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:52pm by englishmuffin
OP, You both deserved it; she should have called you instead of texting you
Sorry to post unrelated to the thread above me, but everyone should watch this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rdV9ADjpcg
YDI for texting while driving.
Just watch this: http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?&next_url=/watch%3Fv%3D8I54mlK0kVw
#119 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:34pm by cheese1756
first off i'm not sure when this FML was sent in but as i currently live in Missouri I know for a fact that driving while operating any electronic devise is illegal
as for you "Unregistered" next time you want to argue with someone make sure you don't base your arguement on an assumption. i didn't see any of these people say "i've never drank a drop in my life but i'm going to judge anyway". seriously? how do you know some of these people haven't gotten completely wasted and killed someone else? i mean if you are allowed to assume they have never dranken a drop in there lives shouldn't i be able to assume maybe they've killed or i don't know.. a bunch of kids? and before you comment (like i know you will) i have gotten hammered before and i've been driving for years so don't even start.
and tyhillman to say that drinking doesn't do shit to your driving is probably one of the least intelligent things i've ever heard(or read i suppose). just slightly below this unregistered guy. how you can claim to drive so drunk that you don't even remember where you parked and then go on to say that drinking has no affect on your judgement is retarded. especially if your defense for said arguement is that its a short term memory loss, well clearly if the alcohol in your system is able to act as a depressant enough that the next morning you have no recollection of where you parked is it not at least plausable that... i don't know... maybe it would have an affect on your brain and thus you wouldn't be driving right? and before you throw your statistics again understand that for looking at a large group of people those statistics are great but for individuals they don't mean a thing.. i mean if 60% of people were lets say immune to the common cold that clearly means i am right because a majority of people are immune? not necessarily while it would be true that if someone was to guess if i were immune it would be the wise choice but as an individual i either am or am not. and even if your statistics showed that all those people could drive fine while drunk. the fact that alcohol can make you have " short term memory loss" implies that you could not be one of the people that are realatively unaffected by alcohol
#121 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:43pm by HotKarl0417
the OP was on the highway, driving at night. Sounds like an accident waiting to happen...oh wait, IT DID HAPPEN. Totally deserved it.
ur a fucking idiot drinking driving and texting at the same time. people like you kill other people
#130 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:17pm by kcmcg09
Then why don't you play it safe and just not drink and drive ever, even if it was just a few drinks? Honestly, it's not worth killing yourself/someone else because you want to act like a smartass and get technical. Even if you're not "drunk" at 0.08, the cop doesn't care and neither does the potentially dead guy.
well hopefully you got to rear-end her again when you finally got back to her place ;)
#169 - On 09/02/2009 at 9:22pm by helloxrina
listen man, my brother was killed by a drunk driver, so if you think its ok to drive drunk, maybe you should think about the lives you may hurt in the process, its never the one who deserves it that gets hurt.
#177 - On 09/04/2009 at 9:35pm by Notsobadboy
You rear-ended her???
Sounds like a good night for you!
Props, buddy.
#5 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:07pm by Intoxicunt
I thought about mentioning the "HEAD back to her place" bit, but that was just easier.
#14 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:17pm by Intoxicunt
#41, did you come up with that all on your own?
You're absolutely brilliant.
Your mother must be so proud.
#44 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:07pm by Intoxicunt
I hope she likes it from behind.
I guess that is a good way to find out.
#55 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:30pm by donkey_hang_down
Ok so not only do you drink and then drive. But then you start texting too?
#7 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:08pm by Silent_Harmony
ughh I knew I would see these things eventually. but yea you shouldn of tried texting her, ughh so many wrong here, you guys were both drunk shouldnt of been driving. should have just boned in the car
people like you are the reason they make laws. the rest use this thing called common sense.
#19 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:23pm by the_stereotype
we call this a fail from where i come from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF0_7qC6YFo
ahha watch this
Good Fucking God
I'm throwing away my cell phone now
>.
#31 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:46pm by Jazzywrites007
lol wow how do you not even realize you drift into the other lane....
#107 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:31pm by canucksrule88
if driving while talking on the phone is unsafe, what makes you think that driving while texting is going to be safer?YDI for being a dumbass.
Sooooo, how did that work out for you? I've tried a million different ways to get laid, and even succeeded a time or two, but never tried wrecking her car.
Is it just me or does anyone else think something witty = That's what she said...
#30 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:42pm by save_me_08
I don't see the FML here. You set out to rear end her. Mission Completed?
#33 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:49pm by intrepid00
wow, you really arent a bright one are you...YDI on so many levels
....on the bright side you can make a witty joke about how you "rear ended" her, although I am sure at that point she wouldnt much care for witty remarks.
wow ydi x 1000 for DRINKING AND DRIVING, both of you. and trying to text, too, retard. wow, ydi. lucky you didn't die, though you should've for being so stupid.
I think it would be good if people could make some more of those fresh "rear end" jokes, except worded slightly differently to the one before it; that's true comedy that never gets old.
"I tried to send you something witty but rear-ended you instead. Sorry."
Is that under 160 chars?
#42 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:03pm by arienh4
Texting while driving after drinking? YDI on so many levels.
#46 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:16pm by deaditegirl
You fucking dumbass! That is why you don't drink and drive, and why you don't text and drive. And you especially don't drink and text and drive! And then there's the whole thing of you were following a random stranger back to her house. You completely and totally deserve it for being so completely, totally, ridiculously stupid!
#47 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:16pm by theintrollama
Well at least you crashed into each other. It would have been slightly better if you took each other out of the gene pool completely, that way we wouldn't have more morons like you drinking, texting and driving at the same time.
#48 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm by Chicostick
Why is this an FML? Seriously. You were driving under the influence AND you were texting? Hopefully you at least learned your lesson, but yeah, you definitely deserved this!
#52 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:27pm by HarrietPotter
It is an abomination that there are worthless pieces of shit out you gambling with other peoples' lives. Hopefully the world will get lucky next time and you both will kill each other.
#53 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:28pm by Flounder
you think youre going to have my sympathy for drunk driving AND texting at the same time?!?!?
of course you would hit someone. what did you expect? its not like cars drive themselves.
#56 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:34pm by purplepickle
I don't get it. You got what you wanted. FYL you missed the exit, U-turned went back to her place and rear ended her.
#57 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:42pm by blah123blah
You sir are a complete jackass and you deserve to have your license taken away. Your 're lucky if this was the worst that happened to you, moron.
I'm not sure how many drinks "a few" is, but my guess is that you were over the limit.
#67 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:08pm by Redrosesandrain
Youre supposed to wait til you get there to rear end her.
#71 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:17pm by ElNegroHombre
this EXACT situation happend to me saturday night. glad im not the only girl with a fucked up bumper.
#78 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:31pm by beachgirl999
i sure hope not. the guy that did this to me may or may not know of this website. its just funny because its EXACTLY what happend to me. hmmm, is the guy that wrote this FML named KEVIN ?!
#81 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:37pm by beachgirl999
no, i live in virginia. haha too bad. im sure the guy who wrote this FML is going to pay for the damages. the guy that hit me? im now having trouble getting ahold of him to give me his insurance. so im riding around with a fucked up bumper that might not get fixed by the person who did it. now thats a FML
#90 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:50pm by beachgirl999
i hope you got arrested and bubba made you his bitch... you don't even deserve to get off that easy...
#80 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:36pm by c6dragster
im not going to marry someone who cant pay attention to the road, hitting cars. not my cup of tea.
#93 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:54pm by beachgirl999
You're a moron. You want everyone to feel bad for you because you drove drunk while texting? You fail. You're lucky that all you did was rear end her. You could've killed an innocent person.
#94 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:56pm by ZuraLasgeon
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#95 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:57pm by fyourlife88
fuck half the people writing "ydi for drinking and driving" havent even have fucking hit puberty and have no idea how alchol affects your driving seriously kiddies dont fucking comment on this topic if you have neither drank nor drove a car fuck
#96 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:59pm by Unregistered
and youre obviously someone older who both drinks and drives and what are you doing, commenting on an fmylife website. maybe you should taking the advise before you actually kill someone or yourself. and i have expierence with alcohol and years of driving and i know the two do not mix
#99 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:03pm by efmivida
No, fuck you. My sister in law's brother just died due to drinking and driving, and it's damn lucky he didn't kill his widowed wife in the back seat or anyone else.
Fuck people who drink and drive. Fuck you all. I don't care if it's a drop or a gallon.
I think I'll jump off a cliff the day I read a nice comment from Unregistered. It's imposibly impossible for him to say anything less than completely bitchy.
Dumbfuck. You NEVER text and drive. Things like that lower your concentration on the road. and if you were drunk, you're an even BIGGER idiot than what i thought. Learn to drive before you get on the road.
Today, I have to share the road with fucking dipshits that think it is ok to drive while drinking or texting. FML.
#103 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:05pm by I_am_stupid_also
It's one thing to text and drive, but to drink, text, and drive? You just be glad you're not dead.
#104 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:06pm by armstrong504
You fuckers deserve it for drinking and texting while driving. Someone innocent could've been killed.
Hm . . . Should I capitalize the world "half of you" or are you too fucking dense to read it yourselves fuck please read the entire comment before bashing your keyboard
#109 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:32pm by Unregistered
I like all the arguments from people saying "Well texting is worse statistically, so drinking and driving are ok".
#106 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:19pm by blahdsflksfd
Wow, jumping the gun a bit, but hey, at least she knows you like to give it from behind.
#110 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:33pm by Holy_Heysoos
ydi for being a fucking moron. I hope you got your license taken away so others don't have to worry about your dumb ass being on the road!
#114 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:03pm by missbrunettgirl
YDI you asshole. Don't fucking text while driving, it's just as bad as DUI. You idiot.
#115 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:12pm by YANKEEBOY114
How does text messaging affect your driving, more than alcohol? That's just foolish.
#117 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:30pm by slave_to_misery
Wait I knew this was fake as soon as I read that he met a girl...
#120 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:36pm by slave_to_misery
YDI for not rear ending her in the other context... Bitch.
#122 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:48pm by brainthebamf
Don't use your mobile phone while driving. It's distracting and....well... can cause accidents. YDI big time. It's as bad as being drunk... texting/using your phone has the same effect. Dumbass.
#127 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:06pm by Cabbotage
where i live texting while driving is illegal.
hmm, i wonder why...
#129 - On 09/01/2009 at 7:16pm by Crazy_Cookie
there is a reason why people say not to text and drive dumbass... ur lucky you just rear ended her
#137 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:47pm by wickawicka
Well when you really think about it.... even if none of that bullshit happened you woulda gotten into her rear end anyways ;)
#138 - On 09/01/2009 at 9:08pm by kingsteveooo
In the city nearest me a 19 year old was texting and hit a woman pushing a stroller. The child was hurt rather badly but will have health issues his entire life. The mom was not hurt as bad. How horrible would you feel if this happened to you while texting? Shame on you! I hope you broke your texting finger. And I am giving you my sternest "mom" look as I point my finger at you.
#141 - On 09/01/2009 at 9:29pm by flinkpamingo
You're both fucking dumb for drinking, texting, and driving.
#143 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:33pm by loverslanex3
op: you are paying dearly for using the phrase "rear ended".
commenters: grow up. seriously.
#144 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:41pm by Redrosesandrain
You deserve it for A) trying to get a girl drunk so she'll fuck you and B) driving drunk and texting while driving drunk.
#146 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:09pm by capthavoc123
...I'm normally the first to defend someone on their cell phone while driving, but *texting* is a different story. And she had a few drinks...did you too??
YDI. Wow.
(except this is so obviously stupidity it almost sounds like a troll... in which case nice troll! :-P)
#148 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:25pm by regalarius
Let's see:
YDI for texting while driving
YDI for driving after drinking
YDI for being a man whore by taking girls home you don't even know
#149 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:23am by MadeOfAwesome
was it not the plan all along to rear end her? dude, you took it the wrong way man.
#150 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:45am by buffalocompton
Haven't you seen the Texting Teens UK PSA?
That shit scared the crap out of me.
I wish I could hit YDI a few thousand more fucking times.
#152 - On 09/02/2009 at 1:03am by SusanaSaysRawrxD
Texting while driving after drinking? You're a complete idiot.
#153 - On 09/02/2009 at 1:34am by FoundManyLemons
23342 people know that drinking and driving, texting and drving or a combination of both is the stupidest thing you can do. Don't do it again.
too bad you didn't rear ended her the way you wanted to.
#155 - On 09/02/2009 at 4:34am by beertime36
You're a dumbass for texting while driving. Too bad she got hit, but you completely deserve it.
#156 - On 09/02/2009 at 4:42am by Hazard911
u r a f**king dumb ass for text and driving...go on you-tube and type in texting and driving psa u sud watch it it's 4minutes long and it will never make u text and drive at the same time
#157 - On 09/02/2009 at 6:47am by twilight_addict
Holy crap, this is like.. the ultimate combination of discouraged acts.
1) Drinking and Driving = Frowned upon
2) Texting and Driving = Frowned upon
Soo..
Driving while drunken and texting.
Sounds fun.
Drinking and Driving is dangerous.
Drinking and Texting is even more dangerous.
Doing both is about the most dangerous thing you can do.
#160 - On 09/02/2009 at 8:14am by ObadiahtheSlim
She was obviously trying to lose him!! Who misses their own exit?!? She texted that to him so he'd go some different way and she could get away.
But now he knows where she lives... 'cause her address is on the accident report.
DON"T DRIVE AND TEXT. end of story. you or someone else could get killed people are killed in accidents everyday because someone is texting, instead of driving. just DON"T DO IT.
#164 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:15pm by live2dance94
You're retarded for texting while driving. Seriously, how fucking stupid can a person be?
#165 - On 09/02/2009 at 3:47pm by xXMILKYCHUNKSXx
hello! dont text while drive you could of gotten in to a crash.
#167 - On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm by xXitsyouandmeXx
Well you rearended her but not in a good way huh. better luck next time but you probably shouldn't've been texting while driving.
sorry buddy, but YDI for drinking and texting while driving.
#171 - On 09/03/2009 at 2:03am by haleycstar
Not the kind of rear-ending you were looking for, eh?
Well, you totally deserve to not get laid after being drunk, texting, and driving at the same. Wtf were you thinking?!
#172 - On 09/03/2009 at 10:44am by JustStayHome
oh you know that no matter what happend on the way, you were gonna get her in the rear that night
#180 - On 09/17/2009 at 6:26pm by snicks1116
For one u shudnt of been drink driving and for two u shudnt of been texting while driving :/
#182 - On 01/08/2010 at 5:44pm by Horse_riding
