Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51524) - you totally deserved it (3659)
On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Don't worry about it! No one can match dick size to the MAN OF STEEL!
I mean, geez...
He's not called Superman for nothing!
#183 - On 09/20/2009 at 12:26am by LchTessMnstr
aw that sucks sorry I didn't think it'd really matter, I meen when I see a play I don't sit their thinking they shouldve stuffed the lead guys underwear.
#8 - On 06/10/2009 at 1:54pm by smiley_girl
just don't spread the word! may be false advertising, but it could do wonders.... lol fyl, i agree.
#9 - On 06/10/2009 at 1:55pm by jessieann86
How do they know what the size of Superman's schlong is?
Perverts....
#11 - On 06/10/2009 at 1:57pm by genius_man16
LOL I'd be shocked if u were big enough to really show like they wanted when soft ha ha. No worries :)
#13 - On 06/10/2009 at 1:58pm by Laci_Laine
Haha don't feel too bad, everything has to be bigger on stage! Stage makeup for girls usually looks pretty hideous in real life because it's so over the top. You probably had to have the equivalent of an entire bunch of bananas in there for it to make a difference from the audience's viewpoint.
#11, he's the man of STEEL, he obviously is packing a massive anaconda
#18 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:02pm by Ilovelife07
lol...damn...so dats really nt sayin much for u!!..lmao...j/k...bt DEFINITELY...fyl!
#24 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:06pm by dis_ooglie_nena
Another reason why I don't act. You always end up embarassing yourself...
#26 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm by bishoprsv2
Um... so? If you look at http://members.tripod.com/cariart/Superman4large.jpg, you'll notice that the later actors have their crotches stuffed too... For some reason, over time, someone decided that superman needed a super package (the old ones don't have it)... So its not that your package is too small, its just the way the costume is, you stuff the crotch just like you should have stuffed all the muscles.. Whining about it is like whining that you don't have heat vision, which is pretty much just ridiculous. Also, the fact that the first conclusion you jumped to is that they stuffed your crotch because you have a tiny package suggests that you actually do have a tiny package.... well done....
Weeeellll...in my opinion you should hav realized beforehand that your package is not large enough so that you could stuff it yourself.
It would have improved evryones impression of you...hence boosting your confidence
Also would have saved you the embarrassment!!!!!
don't worry about it, comic book packages are always over-exxagerated lol
#31 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:19pm by nicelyjohnson
Mayhap superman was compensating for a smaller package with his large assortment of powers. Come on, think about it.
#34 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:27pm by coopcas
Meh. It's kinda understandable. Being "Superman" by definition is kind of an unreachable standard.
Unless you're walking around stage with a constant woody, I doubt anyone could be "big enough".
And if you ARE walking around stage with a constant woody, you should probably see a doctor about that. ;)
32, a black superman? What would his powers be, the ability to chug 2 liters of orange soda in a single gulp? Deep fry eye lasers? The ability to hail a NYC cab?
#36 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:28pm by Ilovelife07
HA! maybe you should start looking into those emails for penis enlargement pills that everyone gets :)
#39 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:37pm by lifesucks210
Lol. Well, I don't think any guy can expect to live up to Superman's anaconda. Most of us women won't expect that from you. (but if it were possible, we wouldn't complain, lol.)
#43 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:43pm by LchTessMnstr
well now the whole audience will think you are hung like a fucking horse!
yes!
although, the dissapointment when girls actually see your dick might be a problem.
I recommend Extenz?
:)
#45 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:46pm by funsize003
So one of Superman's super powers is to be super long?
I didn't know that.
But apparntly, we now know about your kyptonite.
#48 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:53pm by alwaysalady
LOL yes FYL, perhaps girls in the audience would of been impressed. Unless everyone knows by now - I suspect this kind of hilarity soon travels
#49 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:55pm by F_Y_Comments
Aw, do not worry, hun. Superman is short for SUPERMANHOOD, thus meaning his penis is nine foot long. He is only rivaled by Solid Snake, who is 12ft long and 4ft wide~
Penis' as big as these guys just wouldn't fit into a regular woman, therefore, with science I conclude, you are probably far more attractive sexually. Good Luck.
#52 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:00pm by nu
you cant really judge a guy from how is dick looks like when its soft your probably a grower not a shower
#53 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:02pm by ZiggyMorrison
If you're still referring to your package as your 'thing', you're probably not be old enough to possess one big enough.
Maybe it's just one of those performace things - dancers have to wear what looks like hooker makeup on steriods just to not have their faces dissapear under the lights/ look like blobs from far away. Perhaps your package is in reality quite fabulous, they just wanted to make sure the people in the back could see its fabulousness in full!
#59 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:12pm by mynameisnotjudie
umm isnt superman a childrens superhero character? what does it matter how big the crotch is? & umm you do know the real actors wear athletic cups rite? lol noones dick is big like that unless theyre hard. so no worries
#61 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:14pm by obsessedwithfmls
Haha it's okay, in one play I was in they had to tighten my dress and stuff my bra to the max. Its just for theatrics lol
#64 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:22pm by fireandice92
Hahaha! Did the girls have to stuff their shirts as well?
#69 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:29pm by Samabenjamim
Superman is lame anyway. Don't worry about it. The type of people that would want to go to a Superman play to check for genital accuracy are also the type of people whose opinions nobody needs to care about.
#71 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:30pm by Ladybug_Mafia
I just learned something fascinating the other day. Superman's real name "Kal-El" is Hebrew for "Vessel of God."
NOT a big deal. Many men are "growers" and are tiny soft, and BIG when hard.
#73 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:40pm by noshitsherlock
This is actually one of the worst FMLs I've seen, are you serious? It's called a cod-piece, and pretty much anyone who's ever played a superhero in the last 30 years has worn one, including some characters in other genres, like David Bowie's Goblin King in Labyrinth. Shame on no one else mentioning this...
#75 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:41pm by Insert_Wit_Here
You should have wiped it out and said "This isn't big enough!?!?".
They would sadly reply "no, it isn't".
AHAHAHAHAHAHA wow, I can't believe they really did that. Like the guys size is more important than the actual script. What has the world come to?
I don't see why they'd try to make it bigger. Wouldn't they try to make it less noticeable so as not to take away from the scene?
#90 - On 06/10/2009 at 4:20pm by mehwhateverr
haha could be funny to see a play where the lead character had his pants filled up, I would have died laughing if I saw that play.
right. why do i not believe that. oh yes.
because the plot and performance would be in no way changed based on supermans penis size. next time try, i was asked to be in a porno and they declined once they say my junk, chuckling.
seriously.
#95 - On 06/10/2009 at 4:42pm by thatwasobvious
Roflmao!!!!!! That is absolutely hilarious and i'm guessing this is some sort of class otherwise you wouldnt have to do it. This is FML GOLD!!
#70 girls! Read #73
And who old is this guy if hes under the age of 15 the penis maybe not fully grown (I think it can grow until ur 20 or 25. Correct me if I'm wrong!)
#97 - On 06/10/2009 at 4:47pm by MulleMannen
what i want to know is why you refer to your penis as your "thing". besides that, i think it's kind of stupid that these people who told you to stuff your underwear were so concerned about the size of your dick
Haha, #75.. I fucking love his character Jareth in Labyrinth. And hell yes, codpiece!
Lol
FYL, OP. That's damaging to the self-esteem.
#101 - On 06/10/2009 at 4:54pm by brittanycraze
"they had to stuff my underwear" i wouldn't be complaining... haha.
#107 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:09pm by Sam_Dmongmong
Yeah, this is unfortunate, but how old are you that you still refer to your penis as your thing?
I suppose that's a bad generalization and that some people are sheltered and blah blah blah, but there's no reason for you to not say penis if you've hit puberty.
#110 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:23pm by AndelleRae
The OP stole this. They had to digitally enhance that particular area in Superman Returns.
#111 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:29pm by awitsman84
Meh, FYL. Everyones dick is 3 times bigger on erection, Otherwise, Its just really small, Im that way. If you just have a small dick in general, Then FYL even more.
#112 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:36pm by GloomySkyz
Don't they usually do that? I've been to several plays and at least one of the male leads always has a couple of tube socks stuffed down his tights: Beauty and the Beast (Gaston), The Lord of the Dance (The Lord of the Dance), The Nutcracker (Nutcracker Prince), etc. I think part of it is just making sure that the audience in the balcony can see that this person is extremely male. It's just part of the costune, don't take it personally. Besides, very few men actually have a 'thing' big enough to fill out those tights.
#114 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:42pm by snitcheyes411
Most guys have small penises (especially if you are of a certain race) so there's nothing wrong with stuffing to fit the character!
WTF?!? I mean obviously EVERYONE will be checkin out to see how big supermans package is? Wat kind of play were u in that the size of ur package matters?? N that ppl care?
#116 - On 06/10/2009 at 5:48pm by PinkityPink
wow... that's... dumb. why would they even need to do that >_> not to mention did they think for a moment how that would make you feel..... you seriously dont need to stuff it... that's just wrong. why would you even be that detailed... like people were going to look at your crotch and say "this dude sucks! he needs bigger than natural manhood!" ... no >_> just.. no
#110- maybe he was quoting what the person who was stuffing him said. -shrugs-
OP- yeah, that just sucks.
#120 - On 06/10/2009 at 6:23pm by TheDarkoprince
well... unlike superman, you can sleep with anyone you want, anytime you want. ... (smallville.... lol)
who the fuck calls it a 'thing'? it's a penis. are you four or something?
#124 - On 06/10/2009 at 6:49pm by monicamischief
its normal dumbzo.. they do that to male models and actors in perfume ads and shit u see on billboards
ALTHOUGH, it must IN FACT be miniscule if you made a FML out of it.
#125 - On 06/10/2009 at 6:54pm by douchebagerry11
Aw, that's okay, at least you're a good enough actor to play superman! Way to go!
#135 - On 06/10/2009 at 8:24pm by SummerLover95
Dude don't even worry, does ANYONE have as big a penis as Superman??
#146 - On 06/10/2009 at 11:20pm by StopBeingADouche
Ahahahahahaha!!!! Wooooooooooow!!! FAIL! But wut kinda superman production is this? Sound like the 18+ version or somthin!? "Able to rip a woman in 2 wit a single mighty pelvic thrust! it's Superman!"
#151 - On 06/11/2009 at 12:28am by YungMarlon23
Well, it is superman...
It's not like he can have an average size penis.
But, then again, maybe yours really is tiny. Hahahahahahaha.
"Superman, what are you doing in hell?"
"I ripped a hooker in half when she told me i was faster than a speeding bullet."
Pretty stupid, how is that important to the play? Unless that was just part of the costume they gave to you, in which case you shouldn't feel bad.
Anyway, I'm thinking this is fake, since only plays put on by third graders would have superman in them, and nobody would stuff a third grader.
#161 - On 06/11/2009 at 9:16pm by chris81589
to the OP, im small too, and i dont give a shit. really, how does a large package make you a better person? what does it reflect about anyone? i dont need a big dick to validate my existence. maybe others do to compensate for their character, or rather lack thereof. and if you notice, penis size and intelligence are inversely related. just look at asians. they have small dicks, but are human calculators.....oh......sorry black people, but you guys do have a bad reputation.......
#162 - On 06/11/2009 at 9:57pm by WildBill1337
To translate 161:
I think this is fake because I know everything about plays and how old people are when they do them.
Okay bud. I say fyl.
First it's Superman has to have a big package.
Next it will be he has to be the best pornstar, ever.
And you know how that life will end. . . disease.
Hah.
#164 - On 06/12/2009 at 12:21am by KitteySniper
im sure its just because superman is expected to have a bulging package. very few people can compete with him.
#165 - On 06/12/2009 at 1:44am by LiarAndSlave
That fuched up, who freakin knows how big supermans thing is, he probly puts toilet paper in his pants
Ok, if you were playing Dr. Manhattan or something, I could see the whole "stuffing" thing. But Superman? Really? Damn. FYL.
not your fault really...anyway, in stage productions they have to exaggerate everything for the audience, so chances are, they would have stuffed it either way =)
#168 - On 06/12/2009 at 12:13pm by breedizzles
fyl hands down. hey, it IS superman we're talking about...
ROFL 151
and as for 150, yeah! like that penis enlarger in austin powers! lol
If it actually matters in your school/work place, I'd say you're in middle/high school/college/work, so why isn't it that you could just call it your dick?
#171 - On 06/12/2009 at 7:44pm by awkwardness
It would be HILARIOUS if a fourth grader wrote this.
#172 - On 06/13/2009 at 12:45am by RazorbladeSmiles
According to Newsweek (a very reputable magazine, as we all know), in the "Superman Returns" film, for Superman's costume they spent by far the most time deciding how big to make his penis.
Dude no fyl, many guys are small when soft, very few have big ones soft, its called being a grower or a shower,
personaly i like being a grower, watching the look on girls face when they see a 3 incher turn into an 8 incher is always nice =)
are you really superman? no? well i guess then u don't really have a super dick.
case closed.
#179 - On 06/25/2009 at 9:43am by Masta_Blasta
A big one can be scary. Besides, "gifted" men sometimes think that all they need to be good in bed is a big penis. If you have a smaller than average penis, I guess you'll just have to compensate by actually being good in bed. Godspeed.
A big one can be scary. Besides, "gifted" men sometimes think that all they need to be good in bed is a big penis. If you have a smaller than average penis, I guess you'll just have to compensate by actually being good in bed. Godspeed.
This happens pretty frequently if you're doing a play, show, photo shoot, or pretty much anything related.
Don't worry about it.
use a potato it should be as big. and yes I would know.
#186 - On 03/05/2010 at 9:00am by Hobo_stickfigure
