Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
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Top comments
Sandsh8rk 36
That's gotta stink.
Retrokitty 9
*shivers*
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Comments (67)
Sandsh8rk 36
That's gotta stink.
TheWumbologist 14
Boooooooooooo
Rainhawk94 27
Did you set the toilet to wumbo
IndicaPaincakes 28
They had it set to "M" for mini!
ArielTheMermaid 17
I don't know if OP is male or female, and I'm not sure which would be funnier
thisawkwardchick 15
this is my worse nightmare.
IllestRated 17
Revenge!
\ 28
"You won't get rid of me THAT easily!"
ImInYourFACEbook 8
I'm picturing a Star Wars moment here. Like when Anakin was laying in the lava looking at Obi Wan like, "Bitch, I ain't done with you!" So, yeah you just created a Stink Vader.
JocelynKaulitz 28
They creep and they crawl.
Kibaruto 33
The bug was a creep alright.
Jared900DUmpling 30
That isn't the only reason it stinks down there
DataRomance 18
What a stinky situation you have there
13ky13 20
Shitty* If you're planning to get a comment buried, at least do it right.
jazzy_123 20
11, way to set the example.
Zelphoric 25
11, How about don't do it in the first place?
Retrokitty 9
*shivers*
negb 30
I know! This is one of my scariest nightmares! I always look in the toilet and under the seat before sitting.
thisawkwardchick 15
#34 me too! one time we had an ant problem in our bathroom and I saw one crawling pretty close to my on the inside of the bowl. eternal paranoia doesn't even begin to describe it.
Duckzy 16
Let's just hope op isn't a girl for her sake as to the private crawling...
thatnucca 36
Private room for two maybe?!
relaxeazy 24
Do you not check? :o this is precisely reasons I do that!! :D
1nfamous115 1
This sounds like one of those women who never check before they sit, and would probably fall in if you left the seat up
gingaa96 18
How bad can such a stinky shituation get? That's just unfortunate..
xoamy906 25
Seems as if PA is home of the stink bugs