Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister, and me. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML
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Top comments
RpiesSPIES 27
Yes... Your snake... Lets call it that.
FMLJFL 5
What a wonderful first impression you've left, but who cares when you have your snake!
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Comments (70)
FMLJFL 5
What a wonderful first impression you've left, but who cares when you have your snake!
mercifulbane 3
unleash the wrath of your snake on your neighbors while shouting "i may need friends, but YOU NEED A HOSPITAL" then go back to playing with yourself
Amoondris 17
#20 That would really only work if they had a poisonous snake, or a really big snake. However if OP had a large constrictor the neighbor might need a black bag rather than a hospital.
184886837272837 32
I'm wondering if OP was referring to masturbation... tell me I'm not the only one who thought about this?
asnakelovinbabe 16
Snakes are amazing! Kudos to OP for loving their reptile.
Robbieisadowg 16
#29 No, that was the first thing I thought. Though i re-read it again and realized he was talking about his actual snake.
8313girl 28
Lol he didn't say trouser snake
RpiesSPIES 27
Yes... Your snake... Lets call it that.
zelreth 6
Does this "snake" only have one eye by any chance?
ThatFancyPenn 18
I chuckled on the bus at your comment for like five minutes and now I'm getting weird looks.
RedPillSucks 31
Play with your snake. I'm sure they'll look away.
jerryj 27
Try not to pet your snake too much. Might squirt "venom" on yourself...er...you
Volcan_fml 22
Set your snake on your jerk neighbors.
ohSNAPyall 26
It won't work. Clearly they speak Parseltongue.
Redoxx_fml 22
Yes tell Nagini to eliminate those muggles
Greenteamextreme 16
SERPENSORTIA?
Greenteamextreme 16
God damn it.... !
Redoxx_fml 22
The basilisk is going into the chamber of secrets!
SuperMew 22
All the basilisk wanted was to get stoned with some muggles, but nooo...
aubama_fml 15
looks like you found a new friend
frozenfreeze 5
Are your neighbors snakes too?
Fernando83 19
Maybe you should listen to your neighbor. If anything else go make friends with him.
shutupmichaela 18
maybe your neighbors are sick of hearing you "playing with your snake" late at night ;)
bazookajoey 27
haha FYL. But you have to admit its funny OP
YOLO1969 5
I think maybe the neighbors want to be ur firend---to be close to ur snakes.
184886837272837 32
I thumbed you down before I even read your comment. I knew it would be bad because of your username
TheWreckingBall 8
What a great first impression XD
A7X_all_the_way 21
Awesome name xD