Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML
Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, on my way to see my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he wouldn't have to drive me there anymore. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
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Top comments
JoeGrant 12
You should just tell him. Deal with the consequences like a man.
SaxophoneHero 12
Maybe he will accept a new born child in exchange for the fifty dollars..?
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Comments (141)
JoeGrant 12
You should just tell him. Deal with the consequences like a man.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Ya, I mean there's no way around this. The truth is going to come out once she starts showing. I highly doubt your dad meant he would literally kill you. Just tell him, take the heat, and move on.
mmaflake 19
Hard for little boys to act like men. Strap up or keep it in your pants.
turdlett 4
#15...we dnt know if OP used a condom and it popped. Besides that condoms are still barriers that break. Maybe I'm old school but my belief is sex should only happen when you can take care of a family. To the OP... you were man enough to lay with her, man up and tell ya pops. Why lie?
MidnaLink 33
You may be old school, but you're absolutely right!
nbandofbrothers 10
You think he would actually kill you?
LittlestPrincess 21
your dad will probably be even more angry/dissapointed because you didnt tell him straight away...
PinkieKeen 20
20- I honestly think you should start having sex AFTER you get married
squideth 18
64, good for you. Please apply that to your own life and keep your nose out of other people's bedrooms.
LiverpoolVampire 6
im not sure someone can "deal" with being dead
clemsi 20
64 I honestly do not think arbitrary goals help anyone. at best it makes people feel guilty if they break them, and when teenagers are taught that, whoever teaches them more often then not do not teach about condoms out other friend of birth control and end up doing more damage then good.
Metallica36176 16
Although sex before marriage isn't a bad thing. I personally don't see how you can really love someone on all different levels without experiencing it. It just scares me, thinking that if I just randomly married a guy and he couldn't please me. I've been disappointed my whole life and I understand about teaching but damn. But I do fully believe that if you're "responsible" enough to have sex you should be responsible enough to support a child. Its called consequences of our actions. xD
AssTard 15
I was taught all my life to not have sex before marriage. Now that I'm older I see that rule is ridiculous but I still can't keep from feeling guilty about it sometimes. **** religion.
kristat 14
98- The difference between what 20 said and what 64 said is the reasoning behind it. 20 was saying that if you aren't able to deal with the potential consequences of your actions then you shouldn't be doing it. Condoms can break, and if the individual can't afford or doesn't believe in abortion then they could be burdening society with a child they themselves are not able to care for. Waiting until marriage is a personal and/or religious choice and should only be the business of the person making it. Also being married has nothing to do with being able to care for a child.
JanisEvans 10
No. #20 is talking about responsibility, #64 is talking about dogma. See the difference? What has marriage to do with this at all? People don't need to be married to be able to raise a child. And there are plenty of married couples who sure as hell should not breed.
JoeGrant 12
Derp
davincidasecond 24
Lies will always catch up to you OP.
patrickalamo 47
Especially, lies on top of lies.
SassieCat6 16
Especially this lie, in a few short months.
Wakachulak 22
Yeah, unfortunately there's an easy fix for this, the it's-not-mine defense. I so see the OP using that
bandeek 30
Paternity test would prove that he was lying.
Metallica36176 16
Well, he can always spill the truth by dramatically standing and yelling "Dammit dad! Ill need that $50 for diapers!" And just hope the shock makes the dad understand and stalls him from being murdered.
SaxophoneHero 12
Maybe he will accept a new born child in exchange for the fifty dollars..?
Mossears133 15
He should accept it and pay OP. Do you know how much first borns are worth these days?!
Metallica36176 16
Not just first borns. ALL babies are expensive....up until they're 18 (sometimes longer) you will have to pay. Sometimes for some people, it never gets easier. Its all blood, sweat, and tears until the child becomes a respectable adult. Even then, watch out. xD
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Looks like your in a bind...
myusernametaken 3
F your girlfriend's life. Tell your father and man the **** up.
Blackcatluck 19
We don't know what OP's age is nor if he is dependent on his parents or not therefore his dads answer might be reasonable.
Uramonkey 11
11 - We can safely assume that OP is probably a stupid teenager. If he is an adult, OP would not be feeling guilty, what his father said wouldn't mean shit and there would be no FML.
AtomicDiamond87 15
#11 it doesn't matter what age the OP is... If he can make it he can grow up and take care of it... The dad might be mad to hear the news but still deserves to know.
jeepers_1 21
its also F OP's life, just because his gf is pregnant doesn't mean it only affects her, he needs to take it like a man.
meggieeee92 15
I am curious how old the OP is. I'm assuming he is young because he's being a little bitch about telling his dad about knocking his girlfriend up. If you believe you are mature/responsible enough to have sex, then be responsible enough to take care of a baby.
alfakennybody 10
You will have to tell him eventually.
ambitiousnygrl 17
Exactly. He's going to find out one way or another.
mfmylifesrsly 29
I might get thumbed down but oh well. Maybe OP won't have to tell his dad? Maybe OP wanted to ask his dad for advice about if OP and his girlfriend should keep the baby or not? I know guys who have asked their dad's for advice such as if the dad thinks it's best to get an abortion, keep or set the child up for adoption. Even though overall it is the woman's decision getting input doesn't hurt.
BrookRae 19
How can he ask for advice on it without telling him?
mfmylifesrsly 29
#102 well obviously he's more scared to ask for advice now that his dad said he'd kill him if she was pregnant. Maybe he's either gonna tell his dad or just try to figure it out on his own because from fear of disappointing his dad. That is if that is what OP had in mind.
Rosebudx 32
Congratulations, now you're still going to be a dad AND you're now fifty dollars short in diaper money. Great job.
turdlett 4
Perfect reply
ambitiousnygrl 17
@7 He deserves losing $50 by being an idiot about it.
PterodactylMan 23
Well pay up!
razzledazzle21 23
He'll find out sooner or later. You may as well tell him the truth now, who knows maybe you'll get your $50 back!
firstbasemaster 15
Id rather lose $50 than my life
BlowinChronic 18
Well OP's dad will find out eventually regardless because being a father is pretty difficult to keep a secret.
Dezteny 5
Unfortunately lying about owing the $50 didn't make the other part any less true. Now he has a baby on the way and $50 less in his pocket.
AphyTheBronette 15
I'm not surprised you'd rather pay 50 dollars for something that didn't happen to save your own hide from actions that teens shouldn't be doing anyway. As my father always told me when I was a teen " if you play, you pay." Pretty much scared the crap out of me to stay away from sex and men in general.
PterodactylMan 23
I'd give him 60 to make sure, Incase of interest